Category Archives: Me

Goals, Habits, Life, Me

Mid year update

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We’re halfway through the year already. Damn, where’d the time go? Fast, man, really fast. So where are we at now? Looking back on my predictions for 2014, I’d say I am doing alright. Regarding momentum, I wrote:

“I plan on taking this momentum with me into the new year. No fucking around, just consistent execution every. single. day. I really like where my head is at these days, and am in a very good place spiritually, physically, and emotionally as well. Just like 2013, I expect the first half of 2014 to be very different from the second half. There are some amazing things in technology that I am expecting in early 2014 that I am getting excited for that will have a large impact on my productivity and career for the rest of the year.”

So far, so good. I’ve worked hard consistently. Spanish, programming, strength training, elliptical work, jiu jitsu, reading. Bam, bam, double bam. For technology, I’ve been all over Meteor. It’s the one. I won’t be switching to anything else anytime soon. I’ve also been working with Macaw a tad, although to be honest it has been disappointing and buggy, and a little bit of Famo.us – also a little bit buggy. However, there is no denying the enormous potential of these technologies to dramatically improve my workflow, and I will be following along closely. I wrote about these before.

So now that we are in the second half of the year, I predicted that it would be very different from the first half. I no longer think that will be the case. Rather than a sharp contrast between the first and second half, I’m noticing more of a slow transition. That’s ok, slow and steady wins the race. Or something.

My health goals in 2014 were just to get stronger. But as I upped my weight, I noticed my recovery was taking much longer. And then I started doing a lot of elliptical and jiu jitsu, and I was feeling crushed. So instead I switched out 531 for deadlifts and squats and replaced it with CAT. It’s more volume and poundage, but I find recovery manageable and power endurance improvements. I’m still sticking with 531 for overhead press and bench as I am still seeing gains for both. I’ve worked hard on ohp and bench and feel like I am no longer wimpy in those lifts, although my upper body strength is still pretty sucky. I’ve had this weird, naggy, weak feeling in my arms that has been bothering me for months that isn’t helping, either.

I cut my hair. It’s the first time I cut it in over 2 years. Last time I cut it was when I shaved my head prior to heading to Vietnam, Thailand, Cambodia and Laos in May of 2012. Yesterday I cut it all off, got 9 ponytails out of it, and donated it to Angel Hair for Kids. Don’t ask why I grew out my hair. I don’t know. Seriously, I never thought about it. And then suddenly, 2 years later here we are. Weird, I know. I’m weird, sue me. I’ll probably never grow my hair out that long ever again. First off, it’s just a major pain in the ass to deal with. Second, I shed a lot. It’s disgusting. And third, there was this period of a good 8-10 months where I just looked ridiculous. Absolutely ludicrous, so bad that even I was ashamed to be in public with myself. Thanks to anybody who hung out with me during that time, you are all brave souls and deserve some sort of badge.

So there you have it. Not many big surprises for me, although there were a number of hiccups that bogged me down more than they should have considering I was expecting them. All in all though, I think this year has been going well so far. I expect come December things will be different, but through a slow and gradual change rather than immediate and sudden. I’m looking forward to it. I hope your year has been going the way you hoped, just because you’re awesome and cool for reading this whole thing.

Goals, Habits, Health and Fitness, Me

A Month Late

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Last year I wrote a post about some of my strength goals. One of them was to reach a 400 lb deadlift by the end of the year. Well, I’m a month late, but I did it. Monday, during training, I put 400 lbs on the bar and lifted it up. It was my first time trying. The most I had lifted prior to that was 375, which I had done the week before.

On 5/3/1, you don’t normally do a maximum effort lift. You basically enter your estimated 1 rep maximum (1 RM) into a spreadsheet, let it spit out some numbers, and you do the program based on the given numbers. And the program does its thing and magically your 1 RM just shifts up and to the right on your fancy progress chart as you get stronger. But you never really “see” it. My estimated 1 RM currently stands at 452 lbs. But like I said, the most I’ve actually lifted is 375. Luckily, 5/3/1 offers a deload week where you just lighten up, relax and do your thing, and this week I figured I’d give 400 lbs a try for shits. And bam, sure enough, up it went (that’s what she said…not!).

But I didn’t know any of this last year when I made my 400 lb goal. I didn’t know I would be on 5/3/1, either. I didn’t know anything. All I knew was that I arbitrarily set a goal for 400 lbs and I achieved it a month late. Some people would call that a failure. Those people are dumb. If you know these people, don’t listen to them. You see, because in the absolute sense I failed since I didn’t achieve the goal at the designated time, but in the relative sense that’s a a lot of weight to be lifting for a guy my size and my lifting experience (150 lbs and 1.5 years, respectively).

As I’m writing this, I am reminded of the time way back when I was doing Insanity and decided to climb the CN tower for charity. Again, I made a completely arbitrary goal of finishing in 15 minutes without doing any prior research or having any prior knowledge of how long it typically takes to run up the tower or what’s involved. And I ended up finishing at 15 minutes and 13 seconds, which from what I can recall was a pretty good score. That moment for me was a huge eye opener. I didn’t know it at the time, but something as simple as setting arbitrary goals has pushed me to achieve them (or come really close) in situations that I would not have been able to achieve otherwise. And it has served me very well ever since. Even if it took me 30 minutes to go up that tower, I would have been content. Why? Because that 15 minute goal set in motion the necessary actions for me to train and prepare myself in a way that I may not have done otherwise. All I needed was direction, and a goal provided just that.

Part of me wants to say rah rah you can do it. Aim high and shoot for the stars. But that’s just the rosy coloured story that you read in autobiographies and watch on movies or tv. The reality is that the arbitrary goal was just that, arbitrary. But it did help me do what was by far the most important thing, and that is show up and do the fucking work. There’s really nothing else to it. Who cares if you’re a month late, you did the work. That’s worth something.

Friends and Family, Goals, Habits, Life, Lifestyle, Me

2013 – Building Up Confidence

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Well, the end of 2013 is upon us, which means a new and exciting year awaits. Last year, in 2012, I took a leap of faith. This year, 2013, it was all about building up confidence. Next year, 2014, it’ll be all about execution.

The first half of 2013 I was still fumbling around like an idiot. My strength gains were stalling, I stumbled my way to launching Rentything, and I was still trying to transition into this new lifestyle and getting into the right habits and routines. But the latter half of the year I started finding my groove. I stopped getting injured so much, started making adjustments to my diet, to my routines, and to my environment. I stayed consistent in my activities with no expectation except to trust in the process. And guess what? The process started to work. Strength started to progress again, injuries were less frequent, productivity skyrocketed. Opportunities for growth in business, awareness of self, and happiness all improved steadily. In other words, I started to find my swagger.

I plan on taking this momentum with me into the new year. No fucking around, just consistent execution every. single. day. I really like where my head is at these days, and am in a very good place spiritually, physically, and emotionally as well. Just like 2013, I expect the first half of 2014 to be very different from the second half. There are some amazing things in technology that I am expecting in early 2014 that I am getting excited for that will have a large impact on my productivity and career for the rest of the year. It’s an amazing time to be alive, no doubt.

As for goals, I don’t really have anything concrete. I like to use goals more as a fun mental exercise rather than hard and fast guidelines to follow. I still want to continue getting stronger, and I think bigger (for a little bit while longer), but need to be careful not to neglect other aspects of physical health, such as sport specific training and aerobic capacity. I also need to do a much better job of blocking time off for important activities. This has been a huge challenge for me over the years, which causes me to spend too much time on certain activities (such as programming and reading) and not enough time on others (such as writing). If I can nail this, my activities will be less lopsided and more balanced.

Patience is something that I have spent the last few months working on improving, and I plan on continuing this practice. Even though I feel I’ve seen some big improvements on patience, I still see tons of room for improvement. Patience with myself, with family and friends, with personal and professional goals. All of it needs improving. Patience, patience, patience.

Happy New Year. Goodbye 2013, hello 2014. Bring it on, bitches!

Me

Three things I learned about myself at MBA school

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The most valuable thing I got out of MBA school, aside from the friendships and connections, was definitely what I learned about myself while I was there. There were a ton of things. Here are three:

 

1. I have a strange tolerance for risk

In one of my 1st year classes, we did a test involving questions in regards to money. This was to test what is known in behavioral economics as prospect theory, which describes the way people make choices based on their perception of risk. A normal value function looks like the following, which shows that people are loss averse.

English: Value function in Prospect Theory, dr...
English: Value function in Prospect Theory, drawing by Marc Oliver Rieger. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

That is, losses hurt more than gains feel good. Not me, mine was inverted. That means things that appear risky to people don’t really appear risky to me, and things that appear risky to me others don’t find risky (I am extrapolating the results and generalizing here). This explains a lot to me and was really eye opening. While others are “playing it safe” with their stable job and steady income I’m “taking a gamble” and choosing my own destiny. While to most, I’m the risk taker, in my opinion “playing it safe” is a dangerous illusion of certainty where the stakes are highest. The rat race is a game nobody can win and a game I choose not to play.

 

2. I am mercilessly efficient with my time

While my classmates were busy networking, practicing their interview skills, going to workshops to polish up their resumes, and spending an inordinate amount of time on homework, I was rock climbing, going to jiu jitsu, and hanging out with friends. I never went to a networking session, or an interview or resume workshop, and never spent too much time on homework. Was I worse off? Maybe a little, but I don’t think so. I was always in class on time when I showed up and usually the first to leave. I never stuck around to chit chat or kill time between classes or anything like that. In effect, I was just being efficient with my time so I could do the things that make me happy, such as hanging out with friends and heading to jiu jitsu to train. I never did more homework than I needed to. I always skipped optional homework exercises and readings. Did my grades suffer? Not really, I did well on the things I enjoyed and pretty average on the things I found boring. If I were more studious, would I have done better? Perhaps, but there is a law of diminishing returns that I just didn’t want to deal with. My time is my number one resource, and it is limited. I wanted to do the things I wanted to do and I very rarely compromised on that. I was obviously not the most popular kid in school for doing this, but I never went back to school to become popular. I made some great friends and those friendships will last a lifetime. That’s good enough for me.

 

3. I am good at what I love

As mentioned in point 2, I am not good at “doing school”. I was, however, very good at doing things I enjoy. If I like it, I’ll be passionate about it and take a proactive stance on it. I’ll also spend a disproportionate amount of time on it. I don’t know what the cause and effect here is (am I good at something because I like it or do I like it because I am good at it), but I did learn at MBA school that this is how I am. I did very well in certain courses (even getting an award for the highest mark in the class in one) and just didn’t care for others. There was some courses that I enjoyed but was very average in, but I never did above average in a course I disliked.

 

I’ve been out of school for a year now, and I must say that learning the above 3 points about myself has had the most impact on how I spend my days. Of course I learned a lot more during my time in school, but these 3 points have had the longest lasting effects on me at the moment. Who knows, maybe in the future other things that I learned about myself will emerge as more important. I definitely learned a lot about myself at school so I wouldn’t be surprised.

 

The lesson for you? If you learn something about yourself, use that to your advantage and don’t throw out those lessons. You’ll likely be better off for it.

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Friends and Family, Goals, Life, Me

The End of the Beginning

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Another year has flown on by, and what a juggernaut of a year it was. With the end of the year comes my traditional end of year review, of course! So here we go. For me, there was nothing sexy about this year. It was gritty, it was ugly, and it needed to be done. I grinded and hustled for most of the year and I don’t really see that changing in 2013. The year itself proved to be huge. There were three really big events that happened to me. They were, in roughly chronological order: 1) I finished my MBA, 2) I turned 30, and 3) I moved home.

1. Finishing my MBA was a relief. I learned a lot during my two years back at school, and almost none of it had anything to do with the classroom. I did manage to pick up a few things here and there while actually doing “school” (at the very least, I can say for certain I know of a lot more of the things I don’t know and am ignorant of), but the real learning came in my hours outside of school. I began to learn certain things about myself, such as what kind of work related activities I enjoy and which I don’t. I learned that no matter how hard I try, there are certain people I just have a hard time clicking with and that I’m not everybody’s cup of tea, either. I figured out the things that are important to me, such as freedom and health over wealth and riches, and prioritized myself accordingly. This year especially, in my last semester at school, I started to really feel that the pieces were coming together and that the earlier 1.5 years had prepared me for the journey I find myself on now. I feel there is so much more to write about this two-year time period that a single year-end review post wouldn’t do it justice, so I do plan on reflecting on this time in more detail later down the line.

2. I turned 30. Now, don’t get me wrong, there is nothing inherently special about the number itself, but something clicked at around the same time that my birthday rolled around. I started to take my crazy ideas very seriously. My entire life I’ve been plagued with self-doubt. I let that voice in my head scream loudly while ignoring the beat of my heart. I let well-meaning parents, relatives, friends, and guidance counsellors dictate and control my destiny. In my twenties I spent a lot of time trying to figure out who I was and experimented with all sorts of things, and now that I had the good fortune to play and discover, it’s time I got real. If there was a word for it, I guess it would be wisdom. But I am not that arrogant to think I am wise. I’m taking Steve Jobs’ advice and staying foolish. They say 30 is the new 20, but I hope not. I’d rather 30 be the same 30. It’s time I put on my big kid pants.

3. I moved home. I haven’t moved home in 10 years, and a lot has changed. Not my friends though, they are still the same dudes I remember in high school. All of them got fatter, some of them got bald and married, and a few even made some kids, which terrifies me to be honest. Regardless, I consider many of them as good friends, and a handful of them as my brothers. We’ve drifted far apart in terms of our ideals, morals, priorities, goals, and many other things over the 10 year span, but there is no denying my love for them. Just like family that drives you mad on a family vacation, that’s how I feel when I’m around these guys. But they are my family, and I love them regardless. Surprisingly, being so close to my real family has been awesome. For a person that loves his quiet time and space and solitude, it is nice seeing my parents on the regular. And they aren’t driving me mad. Heaven forbid, I actually enjoy their company!! I have great family and friends and I never wish to take that for granted. They play a huge role in my sanity and a lot of my drive and motivation comes from them.

There were other big milestones this year that I’d like to briefly write about. If you’ve made it this far, congratulations. Jump up and down in the air like you just don’t care. You also receive a free eHug from me. You are either really bored or genuinely care about me, so thanks either way.

I put on 10 lbs of mostly muscle doing barbell training (review of Starting Strength coming soon!). I love strength training and for as long as I am healthy will continue to train it in some form or other. After just under 6 months of training, I’ve gained a non pathetic amount of strength and that makes me happy.

I read a lot of books this year. According to Shelfari, my book count for the year was 142. See my shelf, here. That is more than 2.5 books a week. And that is an under representation as I read many ebooks that are not indexed in Shelfari. Again, reading is one of those loves of mine that just won’t quit. I have an insatiable thirst for knowledge and books are just a perfect medium to feed my addiction. Although Wikipedia, Ted, and Quora are pretty awesome, too. Quora, especially, is like a new kind of crack to me.

I’ve practiced Spanish on a daily basis. I’ve gone at it for 6 months consistently now and am finally starting to not feel like a total dumbass. The sites I’ve used are phenomenal. The first is Duolingo, which helps translate the web and was invented by the same guy who invented captcha, and the other is Memrise, which was started by a memory champion and a neuroscientist. Both are super badass and complement each other very well. Not only do you learn, but it is also quite fun! Me gusta! My profiles are at here and here.

And lastly, although I am not ready to talk about it just yet, I have been extremely busy building a new web app, so I guess that makes me a founder. I wanted to get it out of the door by the end of the year, but there are just a few minor things here and there that I’m not quite happy with before I put it out there to solicit feedback from a select group of trusted individuals. As soon as I get those out of the way and get the feedback, I’ll be sure to announce it here once I release it to the general public. It’s my small contribution to the interwebz and to society, and in Seth Godin lingo, I’ll be shipping my art.

I’m not done. I’m just getting started. Doors have closed, and doors have opened. I’ve played and had my fun, and now it’s time I… still play and have fun 😉 But now I know what I like to play and what I find fun. I’m nervous, I’m excited, I’m anxious yet calm. For the first time in as long as I can remember, I am excited to get up in the morning and ready to give the day hell. I love what I’m doing so I’m going to keep doing it. If 2013 is anything like 2012, it’s going to be exhausting, both emotionally and physically. It’s going to be a ton of work, it’s going to be ugly, and it’s going to be very hard. I say bring it, because that’s when I’m in my element. Let’s roll! Happy 2013!!

“Now this is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning.” – Winston Churchill

Me, Stories

The Day I was Forked

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I was having a conversation with my old University roommate the other day and he brought up the story of the time I text messaged him repeatedly in a non sensical panic. I had long since buried the memory. It was the day I got forked.

He was in the lab with a couple of friends doing some group work on an assignment. I was at the condo getting ready to eat dinner. I had made a stir fry using brown rice, some veggies, and chicken. It was piping hot but I was so hungry I just didn’t give a damn. I sat down with fork in hand, took a huge forkful of the stir fry, and proceeded to bury the fork into my mouth. I felt the heat of the food instantly burn the roof of my mouth. As I got ready to spit the food back out, I felt a sharp pain on the lower part of my mouth, inside the bottom row of my teeth on both sides. It was the fork. And it was stuck. I yanked a couple of times but the fork wouldn’t budge. It was literally wedged between the bottom row of my teeth. The heat of the food had caused the metal fork to expand at the exact moment I put it into my mouth. The heat, timing and angle had to be perfect for the fork to enter my mouth, expand, and decide to make itself a permanent fixture in my mouth. Mind you, the food was still burning the inside of my mouth. Too hot to swallow, I rushed to the bathroom, turned my head to one side, and proceeded to use my fingers to claw the food out. As I looked at myself in the mirror I couldn’t help but laugh. “What the hell are the odds of getting a fork stuck in my mouth?”, I thought. I carefully examined my situation in the mirror, wondering what my options were. I yanked and yanked a couple more times. Nothing. My mouth was bleeding. It wasn’t that funny anymore. I started to get a little nervous. I figured since the fork expanded that some cold water would cause it to contract. But it was too little, too late. That fucking fork wasn’t going anywhere. I started to think that I was in some serious trouble. I sat down on my computer and started Googling stupid shit like “How to remove a fork from your mouth?”. Unsurprisingly, nothing useful came up. I started to panic, and that’s when I started to frantically text message my roommate. Can you imagine getting text messages like “HELP ME. A FORK IS STUCK IN MY MOUTH!” and “YES YOU MORON I’VE TRIED TO PULL THE FORK OUT! TAKE ME TO THE HOSPITAL!!” while you are in a lab with group members. What would you do? Well in the case of my roommate he thought I was retarded, showed his group members so they all thought I was an idiot, and laughed it off. I kept sending him these messages until finally one of his group members called me to see if I was just messing around. I didn’t answer and wrote back “HOW CAN I PICKUP WITH A FORK IN MY MOUTH. GOD YOU GUYS ARE SO STUPID”. My roommate, after about 10 exchanges, finally started to sense the urgency of the messages, and agreed to come home. By that time I was so freaked out, I just figured I’d yank as hard as I could and lose a couple of teeth in the process. At least that blasted fork would be out of my mouth. And so that’s what I did. I yanked so hard that when the fork finally came out of my mouth I shot backwards and landed right on my ass. My mouth was a bloody mess but thankfully I didn’t lose any teeth. I rose in victory, did a little dance, and texted my roommate telling him he didn’t have to come home now. To this day he still thinks I’m an idiot.

Goals, Me

Happy 2012!

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Happy New Year! 2011 is over and I hope it was good to you. Let’s aim to make 2012 even better.

2011 was a good year. It was probably my best year in terms of learning. School gave me the opportunity to touch on subjects I wouldn’t have found on my own, as well as come across people whom I may not have been exposed to otherwise. These people were not only intelligent but helped bring new perspectives that I wouldn’t have thought of on my own. School also allowed me the time to do my own reading. And I did a lot of it. I read over 50 books the past year. Although many people say that a rigorous MBA program doesn’t allow you to have a life outside of it, my experience has been the opposite. I found myself having adequate time to do the things I enjoy doing such as reading, working out, rock climbing, and jiu jitsu. These activities all contributed to my learning, balance, and well-being and were vital to my overall happiness.

There were a few disappointments in 2011, which included a large number of injuries. I threw out my back, tore cartilage in my ribs, messed up my right foot, aggravated my neck, etc. etc. in what seemed like a never-ending ocean of injury after injury. This made me very, very frustrated. I am hoping the lessons I have learned in 2011 will allow me to take the necessary precautions this year to avoid injuries while still doing the activities I love. I was also annoyed with my lack of output, which has always been my Achilles heel. I tend to consume a lot of input, hence the amount of books I read, but lacked creating any output of my own. This blog being an obvious example of that. I don’t have any excuses for this. I managed to do most of the things I wanted to do, and yet if I’m honest with myself I know I did those things so I could avoid doing what matters, such as figuring out how I will feed myself in the coming years. This annoys me to no end. There are certain activities I know I should do, but just conveniently never get around to doing them. My guess is probably because I find most of them uncomfortable. This is something I will address in 2012.

It will be a big year, with big changes coming up. I’ll graduate, turn 30, and leave Toronto, to name a few things. I’ll continue doing the activities I love, but will definitely have an emphasis on output. Have a great 2012!