Category Archives: Lifestyle

Friends and Family, Goals, Habits, Life, Lifestyle, Me

2013 – Building Up Confidence

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Well, the end of 2013 is upon us, which means a new and exciting year awaits. Last year, in 2012, I took a leap of faith. This year, 2013, it was all about building up confidence. Next year, 2014, it’ll be all about execution.

The first half of 2013 I was still fumbling around like an idiot. My strength gains were stalling, I stumbled my way to launching Rentything, and I was still trying to transition into this new lifestyle and getting into the right habits and routines. But the latter half of the year I started finding my groove. I stopped getting injured so much, started making adjustments to my diet, to my routines, and to my environment. I stayed consistent in my activities with no expectation except to trust in the process. And guess what? The process started to work. Strength started to progress again, injuries were less frequent, productivity skyrocketed. Opportunities for growth in business, awareness of self, and happiness all improved steadily. In other words, I started to find my swagger.

I plan on taking this momentum with me into the new year. No fucking around, just consistent execution every. single. day. I really like where my head is at these days, and am in a very good place spiritually, physically, and emotionally as well. Just like 2013, I expect the first half of 2014 to be very different from the second half. There are some amazing things in technology that I am expecting in early 2014 that I am getting excited for that will have a large impact on my productivity and career for the rest of the year. It’s an amazing time to be alive, no doubt.

As for goals, I don’t really have anything concrete. I like to use goals more as a fun mental exercise rather than hard and fast guidelines to follow. I still want to continue getting stronger, and I think bigger (for a little bit while longer), but need to be careful not to neglect other aspects of physical health, such as sport specific training and aerobic capacity. I also need to do a much better job of blocking time off for important activities. This has been a huge challenge for me over the years, which causes me to spend too much time on certain activities (such as programming and reading) and not enough time on others (such as writing). If I can nail this, my activities will be less lopsided and more balanced.

Patience is something that I have spent the last few months working on improving, and I plan on continuing this practice. Even though I feel I’ve seen some big improvements on patience, I still see tons of room for improvement. Patience with myself, with family and friends, with personal and professional goals. All of it needs improving. Patience, patience, patience.

Happy New Year. Goodbye 2013, hello 2014. Bring it on, bitches!

Lifestyle, Mindset

The Lost Art of Solitude

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I need to qualify my last post a bit. I wrote that I didn’t know what to write and that’s why I haven’t posted in a while. What I meant to say there was that in the past year I have been bombarded with information. Much of it was new to me and much of it conflicted with stuff I already believed. It took me a while to crunch through it all. The best way I know to do the crunching is in solitude.

Solitude is one of those things that people these days don’t get enough of, in my opinion. Life is just too busy. Bills, kids, 10000 TV channels, and twitter just keeps peoples’ schedules full. But solitude is probably one of the most enlightening activities there is. Really, it is my preferred activity most of the time. While I do enjoy hanging out with friends and being around people, for the most part I just love being by myself. I read an interview with Derek Sivers a while back where he basically said the same thing and I was relieved because I thought I was the only weirdo who prefers to be alone. Nothing brings clarity like some quiet, alone time.

I use solitude to reflect, absorb, plan, recover, or just plain enjoy. I do it anywhere, preferably outdoors. Sometimes I’ll just go and read a book at a cafe or go to the library. Sometimes I’ll enjoy a meal somewhere or go watch a movie by myself. Sometimes I will people watch or just stare at a tree. That alone time does wonders. Even just doing everyday chores like folding the laundry or grocery shopping alone can bring about that magical recharge that only solitude brings. I liken it to a good workout, some yoga or meditation, or a relaxing jog.

We are overstimmed in this crazy world we live in. A little bit of alone time is the cure. Being alone without being lonely is the key. This isn’t loneliness I am talking about. If you can’t spend some time by yourself without feeling alone you got issues, mang. Get that checked out, maybe. This isn’t what I’m talking about. I’m talking about that rich, beautiful, inner peace and quiet that comes out only from being completely ok with being by yourself. It brings a sense of balance back into your life that not many other activities can do. It offers a type of introspection that allows you to form your own thoughts. To not multitask. To not be good at following the pack. To be awesome.

Friends and Family, Lifestyle, Me

The Agony of Defeat and The Sweet Taste of Victory

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This year so far has been one of those crazy transitional ones for me.  Its probably the most uncomfortable and challenging time I’ve been through, but also the most rewarding.  Everything I have been doing or trying is not second nature to me.  Its been fail after fail.  I got demoted at work.  It seems any time I try to do the right thing I get burned.  I had to do some serious soul searching and make some tough decisions and sacrifices.  I eventually came up with three rules for myself during this transitional period. 1) Workout six days a week. 2) Hangout with friends and family whenever possible. 3) Work until my eyeballs bleed.  This was not easy.  It made me very aggressive with my time.  I was working 100+ hour weeks.  Night after night I sat in front of my computer until my eyes were fuzzy.  I balanced that out with hanging out with my best friends and seeing family members I haven’t really seen in years.  Sacrifices were made.  I stopped reading.  I didn’t get to do a lot of the things I really wanted to do like outdoor bouldering, bjj and playing the harmonica.  I stopped meditating and yoga and writing.  My diet suffered.  I mean *really* suffered.  Aunts and uncles were looking to feed me their favourite dishes every day.  Eating became a thing to do with friends for no other reason except because we needed something to do while hanging out (just like the good ol days!).  My performance and reputation at work took a hit as I waited to be called out by somebody.  Nobody did.  I made myself insignificant as I pumped the brakes and refocused my energy.  But I had to do it for myself and for that I have absolutely zero regrets.  I had no guidance from anybody except my favourite bloggers: Tim Ferriss, Ramit Sethi, Leo Babauta, Derek Sivers, Chris Guillebeau, and Seth Godin who would seem to come out with some sort of motivational post any time I would question myself and what I was doing.  It was like they knew how I was feeling and how to correct it at exactly the right time.  If you were to ask me if I were to do it again any differently I would say absolutely, I would have done this sooner.

“Do what you feel in your heart to be right – for you’ll be criticized anyway. You’ll be damned if you do, and damned if you don’t.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

I started freelancing and discovered that I could do this full time.  I made some really good connections and learned some cool new skills.  I also discovered the world of online marketing.  It annoys me how terrible I am at it.  Imagine trying to learn every sport all at once, and that’s how I feel about this.  It is like an entirely new world I discovered, kind of like the time I found out that people go on the internet to learn pickup but way, way cooler and way more annoying.  But I’m building my muscles and paying my dues, this much I know.  I’m putting myself in some serious debt.  Aside from time, money is another thing I’ve been aggressive in.  But I feel ok doing it because I am not spending on fancy watches and nice shoes but rather paying for useful software, paying for memberships and subscriptions and educational courses, investing aggressively, all things that have potential to bring back a positive ROI (and some have already).

School starts in September and I can honestly say I am not looking forward to it.  I am not convinced that the material you learn and the people you meet are worth the $75k bill that it requires.  Take that same $75k, apply it to the school of hard knocks over the same 2 year period, and the education and connections you make are likely way more valuable.  I’ve been to a few school events already and I know good friends who have completed or are completing the program at top tier schools.  Highly motivated, highly intelligent, successful people.  Lots still can’t find jobs.  Others question why they did it in the first place.  The rest don’t seem to really care beyond the superficial surface relationships.  This keeps me awake at night.  But I could be wrong, and there’s only one way to find out, so we shall see.

I’m very thankful for the people I’ve met and the friendships I’ve forged at my previous employer.  Some, like my manager, were highly influential in my growth and development over the years and this I will never forget or be able to repay.  But its time to move on.  I feel this should have happened sooner and it felt like it just kept dragging on but its over now and it feels nice not having any responsibility outside of myself.  I am really glad I don’t have a minivan and a mortgage.  I am really happy I don’t have any mouths to feed, because if I did I would be terrible at it.  That lifestyle honestly feels like it is a lifetime away at the rate I am going.  Slow and steady wins the race, at least that’s what I keep telling myself.  I have too much I need to see, experience, feel before I’m ready for that.  If I had all the money in the world, all the women I could handle and I could be anywhere in the world and be doing anything I want, where would I be and what would I be doing?  I’d be in Iceland, with all of my possessions strapped to my back, looking for adventure and hanging out with friends.  If not there then Japan, or Brazil, or Egypt.  Seeking solitude in India or building a school in Laos. I’m still not there but this is never far from my thoughts.  How do you eat an elephant?  One bite at a time.  I start today.  And I brought my appetite.

I’ll be updating at http://landland.posterous.com for any quicky pics and notes that I can throw up for the next little while on my adventure.

Lifestyle

Making Things Intolerably Inconvenient

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Kissing a Cactus in Argentina

Humans are lazy creatures by nature. Its just the way it is. Laziness isn’t a bad thing, in fact I think it has many benefits including getting adequate rest, keeping things as simple as possible, doing only what’s important, etc. If we can just accept the fact that we are lazy by nature we can use it to our advantage. One of the ideas I’ve been playing around with lately is the idea of intolerable inconvenience. The basic premise is you make something so utterly inconvenient for you that your laziness kicks in and you decide not to do that something. This works great for getting rid of bad habits, saving money, sticking to a good eating lifestyle, and so on.

I first noticed this myself one fine morning when I realized I didn’t have any food in the kitchen but was starving. I was going to drive over to Tim Horton’s for a breakfast sandwich and coffee (bad habit) but realized I didn’t have a car for the day. “Oh, how inconvenient” I thought to myself. So what did I do? Nothing. I decided to fast that day instead (good habit). When I noticed that I did a good habit instead of a bad habit because I was too lazy to walk to the Tim Horton’s, I thought “hmmmm, what else can I make really inconvenient for myself to force good habits?”. Some of the stuff I came up with was removing a lot of bookmarks to time wasting websites so that if I wanted to go to them I would have to type them in manually. Too lazy, screw it. Another is hiding the remote control for the TV so that I don’t watch it. Get rid of the junk food in your house or put it in the attic or something. Lock your credit cards in a safe. You can get pretty creative with this if you use your imagination. Cell phone bill too high?  Give the phone to your neighbour.  Need to study more and play games less? Hide the power cord to your Wii.

Note that the opposite also works. Make good habits super convenient for you. Have a giant glass of water beside your bed so that when you wake up in the morning you can chug it down and hydrate right away. Put the vitamins and supplements you take right beside the glass of water. Put your keys in the same spot everyday so you’ll never lose them. Leave your lunch at the front door so you never forget it (or set a daily reminder that goes off before you head out the door reminding you to grab it from the fridge). The list goes on. Make the good stuff easy to do and the bad stuff really inconvenient. I like it, nice and simple and effective.

Lifestyle

Willpower Alone is Not Enough

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I recently returned from vacation and had a great time.  Drank like a fish, ate like a pig.  It was overindulgence deluxe.  I worked out only twice.  It was my first break from regimented workouts since May.  I learned something about myself that I wasn’t really aware of previously that I think applies to a lot of people.  Willpower is very very difficult.  I think if willpower is the only thing making you do something, there is a high probability that you won’t be able to keep it up.  Systems and routines trump willpower.  This is why I’m such a fan of working out in the morning.  You just go in there and get it done just like brushing your teeth.  You don’t even think about it.  Back when I started modifying my diet, I knew I had to eliminate all canned, sugary and processed foods out of my apartment or I would be tempted to eat them all.  When I started sitting on an exercise ball as my office chair 3 years ago, I removed my real chair completely because if I didn’t then I would likely sit back on that chair eventually.  Half my paycheque is gone before I even see it because my investment advisor yanks it from me so I don’t overspend.  I never realized that it was actually the routines, the removal of choice and the systems I set up that bring me success until returning from vacation, the most overindulgent one I’ve ever been on.  It is really easy to fall into that trap of gluttony, willpower be damned.  This coming from a guy who thinks he’s got pretty good willpower.

Maybe this is why smokers smoke despite knowing it is bad.  Actually, pick an addiction (food, porn, alcohol, gambling, etc.) and it probably has less to do with weak willpower and more to do with the system they have in place, the environment they are surrounded by, the routines and habits they have set up, and the amount of choices they have.  For me, the vacation was a big fat fail in what I call conscious choice.  Doing something knowingly, like making a big purchase for example without having buyer’s remorse afterwards, or enjoying a slice of pizza without feeling guilty afterwards.  I do these things on occasion without any guilt or remorse because its conscious, i.e. I didn’t make an impulse buy, it was thoroughly researched or I am hanging out with friends at a pizza joint, of course I’m going to eat some.

Trying to save some money by cutting out your morning latte?  You better make sure you take a different route to avoid that Starbucks, because your willpower isn’t going to do squat.  Sure, you might be good for awhile but eventually I guarantee you its not going to last.  Set yourself up for victory, not failure!