Category Archives: Life

Life

be a (wo)man. do the right thing. have integrity.

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I looked it up.  Integrity means moral soundness.  Its about staying true to yourself, of having strength of character.  Its very easy to spot a person of integrity.  You just feel it.  You know what that is?  That’s their energy blasting out at in all directions.   The rules of integrity include:

  • Follow up on your commitments
  • Keep your promises
  • Always pay back your debts
  • Love  what you see in the mirror
  • Keep your word
  • Be honest
  • Do not compromise your values

Sometimes it can be very hard to do.  Sometimes the right thing isn’t the thing you want to do.  People with integrity don’t bend these rules to fit their needs.  Integrity is not something that blows in the wind.  But that means you have to live by your rules, and not the rules of other people.  People with integrity need not the external validation of others, only the satisfaction of living life.  To love and be loved.  To experience and feel every second of every moment of this life they have been blessed with.  Its not about taking advantage of  friends, or about lacking the guts to tell somebody you like them and instead showering them with gifts, hoping one day they’ll just magically fall in love with you.  Its about telling people to step back when they’ve gotten in your space, its about having the courage to do what’s incredible, even if nobody knows you did it.  Especially if nobody knows.  It’s about being awesome.

“Live so that when your children think of fairness and integrity, they think of you.” – H. Jackson Brown Jr.

Life

Lifestyle experiments: A great way to challenge yourself

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What are lifestyle experiments? They are like 30 day challenges you give to yourself to help give you some insight on something or to help form a new habit. They take you out of your comfort zone and usually help break some bad habits. Lifestyle experiments should be fun and challenging and should be in alignment with your life goals. Here are a few that I am starting or have recently started. If you are new to this I would recommend starting out with only 1 challenge at a time.

Lifestyle experiment #1 – No disposable garbage such a coffee cups, take out containers, etc. This one will be very tough for me, but I realized how much disposable garbage I’ve been using because its convenient to do so. At lunch I grab things on the go when I’m busy at work and this will have to stop. I especially like the vegetarian soups across the street from my work, but they don’t come in bowls, only takeout styrofoam containers. I won’t be able to get any Tim Horton’s or Starbucks unless I bring my own container, either. Plus there are numerous other places I go to grab food on the go around my office that I won’t be able to any longer. This will be a challenge, and I don’t know if I’ll succeed. But I’ll try and by the end of it I’ll be confident that I’ll have reduced my consumption of these wasteful products significantly.

Reason for doing lifestyle experiment #1 – to further reduce my ecological footprint on this planet, one of my lifelong goals.

Lifestyle experiment #2 – Get rid of cellphone. I don’t really need it. There aren’t that many people that call me anymore. In all my years of owning a cellphone, I have only ever received 1 emergency phone call. I’ve been really thinking about this one and I think I’ve fallen in the trap of owning a cell phone for the sake of owning one, when in fact I’m not really getting what I pay out of it. Most people with their fancy phones don’t actually need a fancy phone, and they find excuses to buy one rather than legitimately needing one (like for work). Its a very terrible mindset in my opinion. Its like paying for a gym membership and not going to the gym. I’ve got email, I’ve got Skype, I’ve got IM, so if anybody wants to get in touch with me they can do so through those mediums.  I won’t bring my cellphone to work and I’ll keep it on silent when I’m at home to eliminate distractions.  This experiment shouldn’t be too difficult,  I literally get more wrong numbers and telemarketers calling me then people who actually are looking to speak to me. If after 30 days the cellphone experiment is a success I’ll likely reduce to pay as you go and only turn it on when I need to make a phone call and I’m not near my computer (like if I’m out and meeting a friend).

Reason for doing lifestyle experiment #2 – Cost cutting. Part of my trimming the fat and of living a simpler life.

Lifestyle experiment #3 – Stronger eye contact with strangers. I tend to not look at strangers. I think that’s a shame because strangers are only strangers because you haven’t met them yet! And you don’t stand a chance of meeting them if you never look at them. I started this habit of not looking at people living in Toronto when I noticed that if you look at a homeless person in the eyes they’ll tend to always ask you for money. However, if you don’t you have a better chance of not being asked or pretending to ignore them. Torontonians do this a lot and I picked it up. Then for some reason it generalized and I avoided everybody’s eye contact. I plan on not avoiding on contact for 30 days, including the homeless without staring at people creepily. This shouldn’t be too bad, because I have tried this before and noticed that people don’t recognize you because they aren’t looking or will smile at you or the occasional guy who tries to outstare you.

Reason for doing lifestyle experiment #3 – Purely for fun.  Who knows, might make a friend or two!

If I cheat or fail, I’ll post the updates on Twitter. http://twitter.com/landland

Get started on some of your lifestyle experiments today!

Life

Trimming the fat… simplifying to the essentials and removing the weights.

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I’m a collector by nature. I’d go to Wrestlemania, and keep my ticket and buy a tshirt and never look at them again. I’d mod my playstation, and burn every game on that console just for completion sake, never actually playing the game and only turning it on to see if it worked. I’d accumulate and accumulate all this stuff, without ever actually using any of it. Know what I’m saying? I’m sure you do, because I’m sure you probably do that as well. My parents are collectors and so is my brother, so maybe its hereditary. But I believe that the things you own end up owning you (thank you, Fight Club). So how do you protect that from happening? One way is to reduce the things you own! Sell them, donate them, recycle them or throw them away! Its all about decluttering and simplifying.

Trimming the fat isn’t just about cleaning out your possessions. Its about cleaning out your relationships as well. The ones that don’t serve you anymore, the ones that hurt you, the ones that breed negativity. I’m sure you have some in your life. I know I do. I used to be really close with this one girl. She was one of my best friends. We used to hang out virtually every week and she would always ask for my help or advice. Her best friend said to me that she had changed a lot, and largely because of me. I even hooked her up with her boyfriend. I told her to try out online dating and wrote her profile for her. Soon after she met her current boyfriend who loved the profile. She told her boyfriend of me and he didn’t approve. Slowly but surely we stopped hanging out. I figured, as long as she’s happy. Last week I saw her for the first time since October, during our meeting her boyfriend called and scolded her for hanging out with me, in which case she obliged. This isn’t acceptable to me. I would love to tell myself how its her loss yadda yadda, as that would serve my ego. But truth is, its my loss too. I miss our time together. It really stinks being put on the backburner, but its even worse when its because of weak reasons like a controlling, insecure boyfriend being more important than friendship. Why she accepts those terms with him, I do not know and it is none of my business. Likely, we’ll never be as close ever again (although an apology and a change of circumstances may help). Be completely honest here, though. For me, there is absolutely zero anger involved. I wish her all the best and hope for her continued happiness, but its not something I wish to be involved with under these terms. However, if I secretly harboured a crush for her and lusted for her, and was hurt and angry that she would choose him over me, then that is 100% my problem and probably requires no trimming, but rather a re-evaluation of my own issues. Some things you just have to trim as guided by your morals and boundaries. Remember, by your morals and boundaries. When your relationships have crossed those boundaries, decide if that is or isn’t acceptable. If its not, trim it. Save yourself the mental anguish of holding onto that mess.

Trimming the fat can be a very difficult thing to do. Whether its a possession or relationship, it can be hard because there is some degree of attachment to it. But you’ll feel a huge weight lifted off your shoulders. Possessions aren’t supposed to be stressful. If you have a car that keeps on failing you, decide if its really worth the headaches in maintaining it. Or a computer that keeps crashing, or that super duper all in one magic kitchen thingamabob that you thought you needed but never used, if you aren’t using it maybe you should just get rid of it. If you’ve never tried to trim the fat, it can be hard. You’ll find a lot of times you’ll convince yourself you need this or that thing “just in case” even though you haven’t used it in years. Trust me, if you haven’t worn that sweater in over a year, chances are high you won’t be wearing it at all. Just donate it, already. When it comes to trimming the fat, less is definitely more.

Life

finding time by organizing your priorities

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Somebody recently asked me when I actually sleep. With all the things going on in my life at the moment I still had time to hang out and have brunch with her and told her all of the movies I’ve been watching. Its actually pretty simple, its all about setting up your priorities.

High on my list of priorities are my friends. I don’t have many that I see frequently these days, so when I get a phone call or an email saying one is going to be in town and want to go for brunch or hang out, of course I’ll say yes. Unless I have an absolutely immovable meeting or am booked solid, I try my darndest to say yes to meet up. It just means I have to shift something else around and reset some of my priorities.

If its important to you, you’ll find time for it. That’s just how it is. There is always time for the things that are important to you. If you don’t have time for it, it means it isn’t important to you, simple as that. When somebody tells you they don’t have time to see you, that just means you’re not as important to them as something else at the moment, lol. Finding time can be a challenge if you’re extremely busy, but it isn’t impossible. If you commute at any part of your day (most people do), that is a great time to listen to those language courses to learn that language you’ve always wanted to learn. Or going for a run during your lunch break and eating at your desk for those pressed to finding time for a healthy workout.

Idle TV or news reading time can be eliminated if TV or news isn’t high on your priority (I hope TV isn’t). Things that should be high on everybody’s priority list should include stuff you enjoy like your hobbies and passions, your health, your work (yes, your work quality is a reflection of your drive to succeed and commitment to others), your friends and family, that sort of thing. So what is important to you? Put those things at the top of your priority list. What isn’t important to you? Those things should go at the bottom. If you find that your job isn’t very important to you, then you should probably look for a career change. If you find that video games is high on your list, hopefully your balancing that with something important that is also high on your list, like saving the whales or something.

A good time of day to get a lot of your tasks out of the way is as soon as you get up. You’ll notice that if you knock off some of your higher priority items as soon as you get up, you’ll have a great feeling of accomplishment and the rest of your day will be more enjoyable. Before you go to bed, plan ahead and prioritize some of the important tasks you have to do the next day. Its about being productive, doing things effectively and efficiently, and being smart with your time. You can’t do everything, but you sure as heck can do a lot if you prioritize and act. I actually sleep pretty well, its high on my priority list 🙂

Life

love thyself. it will do you good.

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Animal drive is very powerful. Part of the reason we have survived and thrived on this planet for so long is a direct result of our evolution. At its core, our genes are basically telling us we have two functions in life, to survive and reproduce. Think about your own thoughts and actions, I bet they revolve around a few themes. Finding love and being happy are probably high on the list. Other things that may be high on your list include obtaining wealth (improves both survival and attracts the opposite sex) and getting in shape (improves survival and attracts the opposite sex). Crazy, huh? All that stuff going on in our lives really boils down to such basic human functions.

It is our human right to find happiness, and to avoid suffering. Happiness can come in all forms, but a lot of it comes from love. So its natural that finding love is a very important aspect in a human’s life. It’s also natural that greedy people will try to leverage that so they can make lots of money. The big money grab “holiday” is this weekend, I’m sure you know what I’m talking about. This day exploits the need for people to find happiness. It puts a lot of unneeded pressure on both partners, and it also has the tendency to make single people feel especially lonely this weekend. Guys absolutely hate this day. Women almost absolutely love it or hope for something special.

I want you to really notice how you feel around this day, or the week prior to it. Whether you’re in a relationship or you’re single, man or woman, I bet you feel different. I bet at least one emotion is heightened for one reason or another. I would suggest to everybody to not believe in the hype. The hype is always just that, hype. Completely blown out of proportion by the powers that be, this holiday is the worst one of them all because it exploits a very basic and extremely important human need. The “experts” that offer dating advice and that sort of thing around this time of year are either absorbed by the hype or are trying to get your money or both. Of course, as long as there is desire, then people will do just about anything to get what they desire. Because of this, this holiday isn’t going away anytime soon. So what can you do?

Truly love yourself. You are exactly as you should be. Even if you’re not at where you want to be in life, its ok. Get started today. But don’t beat yourself up. Love yourself. Celebrate yourself. Have enough self respect to actually take care of your body, to nourish your soul and quiet the mind. This is a lifelong necessity, not something that you do once in a while. Dance to your music. Really appreciate your alone time. This may sound ridiculous, but it really is important to enjoy the time you spend when your by yourself. Have you ever noticed how you’ll feel weird if you go to the movies by yourself or a restaurant by yourself? Or some people will think one is ok, but the other isn’t? Get comfortable with it, and if your not, I would suggest you do it. You can think about it as taking yourself out on a date (as weird as that sounds). It’s really important, if you don’t love yourself how do you expect somebody to love you? If you don’t love yourself how do you expect to love somebody else? You can’t (and if you think you can, I can assure you it isn’t unconditional).

It’s a shame that they didn’t teach us this in school. They never taught us any of the important stuff in school, like social dynamics, compassion for others, respect for self, how to find your passions, instead of all that less useful stuff. Enjoy your time alone, enjoy your time with others, enjoy life!

Life

acknowledging the obstacles in front of your mind

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One of the most immediate things you can do when you aren’t feeling particularly awesome is to acknowledge it. There is something powerful about acknowledging that there is something bothering you. Acknowledging that you have a gambling problem, or maybe a drug or alcohol problem, or an eating problem is usually the first step to recovery. After all, how can you fix something if you deny that anything needs to be fixed, right?

Part of being human is that we have emotions and a mind that runs in overdrive. We have an ego. These things are real parts of us that make us special. They have the ability to make us feel really awesome and amazing, but they also have the ability to make us sad and terrible. Well, these things aren’t going away anytime soon, so you may as well work with them to the best of your ability. The ego is there, so just acknowledge that it exists instead of letting it run the show. Sadness will come and go, acknowledge when those moments arise and feel through it.

There are moments when you are going to get upset, maybe at a coworker, maybe at a friend, maybe at a stranger. These things happen even if it wasn’t their fault, even if you were in the wrong. Its ok to acknowledge that, its ok to acknowledge you make mistakes. Its part of being human, its a part of the experience. We all make mistakes. I have made a couple at work this week. I made a big one last night. I was upset, sure, but I still needed to get things done. So I acknowledged it and moved on. One very powerful technique is The Sedona Method: Your Key to Lasting Happiness, Success, Peace and Emotional Well-being. Depending where you’re at in your life, it can seem really out there, especially if you don’t have an . But it works. Basically it involves acknowledgement, acceptance, and then letting go.

Acknowledgement is also a great way to take full responsibility of your actions. In essence, it is taking charge of your life, because, well, its your life!