Category Archives: Life

Goals, Habits, Life, Mindset

1 Year Later

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It’s been over a year now since I started on my entrepreneurial journey, and boy have I learned a lot. I’ve made a ton of mistakes, learned from them, and gotten just a tad wiser. At least, I think. I’ll continue to make mistakes, of course, and that’s par for the course. So many unbelievable opportunities have opened up because I finally had the courage to start believing in myself. But man, was I ever nervous as hell. To an extent, I still am from time to time, and I don’t think that will ever go away. But I sure am glad I took that first step over 1 year ago. I’ll never look back.

 

My life is so much different now. Faster, better, happier, more resilient, more courageous, more patient. I’m a lucky dude. Great friends, great family. That decision to move back to where I grew up was one of the toughest decisions I ever made. I sacrificed a lot, left a lot behind, and made some tough and unpopular decisions. And now I’m better for it. Looking back over a year later, it seems like a no brainer. Why the hell did it take so long?

 

My $80,000 tuition bill is paid. I’m debt free now. Feels good, feels real good. My Spanish has improved tremendously. In fact, I am almost done the entire Spanish course on Duolingo. I sure am glad I started learning Spanish over 1 year ago (probably closer to 1.5 years actually).

 

And my strength? I started barbell training late July of last year. I had no clear goals in mind. I wanted to be stronger, not superhuman level but not pathetic either. Now I’m squating over 300 lbs and deadlifting 2.5 times my bodyweight. And I remember at first I wasn’t sure I wanted to spend all of that money buying a power rack and barbells and weights last summer. Idiot, one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.

 

Am I where I want to be with my entrepreneurial pursuits? No. Am I where I want to be with my language learning? No. Am I as strong as I want to be? No. But fuck, I am leaps and bounds ahead of where I was 1 year ago.

 

My point is in this moment we all have our doubts, and they never go away. Those doubts are there for your protection, but often times they do more harm then good. If I listened to them, I’d probably be stuck in a dead end job working for the man paying off my debt for eternity and living in slow and silent misery. But every time I felt that doubt I simply decided to act inspite of it and in spite of my reservations. I watch this awesome girl do her thing and I’m convinced that that’s how it goes down

 

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=daC2EPUh22w

 

You see, at first, you look like a moron. You just do. And you probably feel silly, too. But sooner or later, things start to click. Sometimes it takes forever. Spanish, for example, is not something I pick up quickly. It could be my material or my methods, or it could just be I am not really gifted in linguistics (or a combination). But strength has accelerated beyond my wildest expectations. I wasn’t particularly good at rock climbing, but first person shooter games like Quake 3 I excelled at very quickly. Some things you’re just going to be naturally gifted at, and other things not so much. But what matters the most is consistent, deliberate effort.

 

This summer I started running. For years I’ve told my friends how much I hated running. I thought it was deathly boring and repetitive and I never got into the zone while running and I never felt a runners high. Well I’ve been at it for 4 months now and I still find it boring and repetitive and I still haven’t gotten into the zone or felt a runner’s high. But I can feel it starting to make sense. It might not come anytime soon, but if I keep at it, it will. It’s an inevitability.

 

After a long hiatus, I am back training jiu jitsu again. My timing is coming back quickly and the muscle memory is there. And I’m a whole heck of a lot stronger now. I’ll give it a year of consistent and deliberate practice, and have another look back. I bet I’m going to be better.

 

So what’s that thing you’ve always wanted to do but haven’t gotten around to it? Start today, because 1 year from now you’re going to be +9000 at it. Go ahead, give yourself permission.

Goals, Habits, Life

Practice Your Craft

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We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act but a habit. – Aristotle

Bah. I suck. I’ve been hesitant to write lately and seem to have a mental block. Trying to come up with content to write about for Rentything has been a challenge. There’s a reason for this. I haven’t practiced, and I haven’t been consistent.

If you want to get good at something, you must must must practice consistently and deliberately. There are no shortcuts. It is a necessary, but not sufficient condition for success. Anything less simply doesn’t cut it. The path to mastery is littered with failure and setbacks, but this shouldn’t stop you from trying. There are skills that I believe have a huge return on investment and are definitely worth learning. Some of these include:

 

1. General strength training

Not being generally strong is a terrible thing. There are so many reasons to be strong that the list is exhausting. Some of the reasons include being functionally useful in a variety of activites, such as helping friends move, gardening, playing with your kids, and so on. Strength makes almost all activites better and very few worse. And the best part is strength is something that can be earned, significantly, if you are willing to put in your time, probably more so than most other types of physical activites.

 

2. Social skills

This is the one that most people believe is either you have or do not have, which is simply a FALSE belief. Social skills are a game of practice and encompass a huge variety of skills including the ability to listen, to empathise, to connect, to understand, to adapt, and so on. And believe it or not, going out and meeting people and trying different things will improve your skills. On the flipside, not going out consistently and generally hiding from people will make you more socially inept. This is my current situation and is something I am fully aware of. Social skills take consistent practice, just like anything else. And the skills will get rusty.

 

3. Writing

Writing a lot will get you better. I’ve never heard of any writer any time in the history of writing who wrote masterpieces on their first try, it simply doesn’t happen. And when you don’t write frequently, it is a struggle, kind of like what is happening to me write now. Typing these words on this keyboard is very unnatural and coming up with the right words is difficult, and yet I have nobody else to blame except myself.

 

4. Programming

This is something very important to me at the moment, and so is something I spend the majority of my days/time on. I notice if I take days off, it takes a while to get back into the groove of things. Just like many skills, the more consistent the practice the better you get.

There are an infinite number of skills you could spend the rest of your life trying to learn, but you won’t be able to learn them all. I would say getting relatively good at a skill isn’t too difficult if you are willing to put in your time, but obtaining mastery requires extreme dedication and time. Two ways of getting good at a skill are to go full immersion or to spend a little bit of time each day practicing. If we take the full immersion route, there is not much room to learn other skills for the time being. Spending a little bit of time each day allows you to develop other skills without getting overwhelmed on one specific skill.

There are skills you’ll get good at throughout your life. Some, such as driving, will become second nature to you. Others you’ll naturally let die due to lack of interest (like that one time you tried pottery). Others you’ll get rusty on due to lack of practice. This is my current situation with skills such as rock climbing, writing, and jiu jitsu. If you don’t want those ones to go away, start practicing them again. Generally they come back pretty quickly. Having a variety of skills in your repertoire is important, and having a few with full mastery is even better. I think they call it becoming a T shaped person (generalist in many areas, expertise in a few). In my opinion this is a good strategy and one I strive for myself. The skills you get better/worse at will likely be constantly in flux, but don’t worry about it. That’s part of the ebb and flow of life. Just remember to practice consistently.

Life, Mindset

The Law of Impermanence

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In Buddhism, it is said that Buddha taught 3 facts of existence… they are suffering, non-self, and impermanence. Impermanence is the one that I take to heart the most (but the others are worth reflection as well), perhaps because it is the easiest to understand and the easiest to see unfold in the real world. If you’ve heard the terms such as “nothing lasts forever” and other sayings then you are touching on impermanence.

My buddy has a tattoo of the symbol of impermanence permanently plastered on his body. Ironic? Perhaps. But he’ll die one day, his skin will wither to nothing, and thus it isn’t really permanent. Eckart Tolle says (paraphrasing…also, holy shit, I’m busting out Tolle).. “Even the sun will die some day”

My workout buddy and frequent partner in crime told me that his work let go some people today. Then, predictably, he stated that he thought he was next to get chopped, shrugged his shoulders, and that was that. He then blabbed on about something about Gladiator. I don’t know, I was confused too. Anyway, tangent….But it happens (the layoff, not the tangent, but I guess that’s true, too…Ah I did it again!), especially in a society focused on the bottom line. When/If this ever happens to you, see it not as a setback but rather an opportunity to start something new, because in reality everything is impermanent. Easier said than done, I know (as is most things I recommend on this blog), but just tell yourself “this too shall pass”

And I just read Google Reader is shutting down. I cursed a lot, rage tweeted, and threw stuff. I then sobbed uncontrollably. But I’m back now and all is good. I saw it coming. RSS is dead or dying, at least according to Google. They even removed the subscribe to RSS button from Chrome (you have to download an extension to re-enable the functionality). I understand, I suppose, from a business perspective. They have to consolidate their projects and focus on steering the gigantic ship they have become towards a clear direction. I mean, that’s what businesses are supposed to do I guess, right??

But anyway, yeah. Impermanence. This is a LAW. This is a FACT. There is no escape. Things change, people change, times change. When you feel like utter garbage, know that it won’t last. When you are sitting on top of the world, that too will end. That awesome job will have its redundant and boring times. That incredible relationship will fade…

So be nice, play nice, and enjoy the ride. And never, ever, forget the law of impermanence.

P.S. I got all nostalgic reading some old posts from this blog in Google Reader that are no longer on the site. I wonder if I’ll get some time to restore some of them, because there are some goodies.

Life

Speak Your Truth

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A few years ago, I tried my hand at affiliate marketing. I sucked at it and I hated it and I wasted a lot of time and money trying to figure it out. I read a lot of stuff about how to do it properly to make huge sums of money. For a while, I thought that this is what I wanted, large sums of money. But something about the whole thing seemed sketchy to me. I didn’t like the idea of persuading people to buy stuff that I never tried, yet implicitly endorsed. Some of the tactics used were also very shady to me, and so I quit. I learned a ton, though, so in the end I am still glad I tried it.

 

Still, I couldn’t figure out what bothered me about the whole thing. There are plenty of affiliate marketers doing it with integrity and making buttloads of money, so it couldn’t be an integrity thing. Just keep it clean. So what then? It turns out, the reason it bothered me was that I wasn’t really speaking my truth. I wasn’t really bringing any value to the table, which turns out is pretty important to me. Sure, someone filled out a survey and I got paid $1.25 for my efforts to bring the user to do so. So what? Did the world become a better place? Was the user better off for filling out the survey? Maybe, possibly, but probably minimally.

 

I think this is probably what bothered me with my earlier jobs. I was helping people solve problems, sure, but did I make the world a little bit better? Not really. I helped companies become incrementally more efficient, thus lining their pockets ever so slightly more, and I’m not even sure I did that to be honest.

 

This is very obviously the altruistic side of me coming out, but that’s not the entire truth either. I still like making money. I still like eating deliciously unhealthy food and splurging on ridiculousness and partying with beautiful women (in my dreams, ok!). That’s a simple truth. Another truth, though, a more important one is this: before my time is up, I need to know that what I’ve done on this planet contributed, in some small way, to making this world a better place. I need it. Sometimes it’s hard to digest the signal from the noise, and sometimes finding your truth is hard to do. But sometimes it’s staring you right in the face.

Friends and Family, Goals, Life, Me

The End of the Beginning

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Another year has flown on by, and what a juggernaut of a year it was. With the end of the year comes my traditional end of year review, of course! So here we go. For me, there was nothing sexy about this year. It was gritty, it was ugly, and it needed to be done. I grinded and hustled for most of the year and I don’t really see that changing in 2013. The year itself proved to be huge. There were three really big events that happened to me. They were, in roughly chronological order: 1) I finished my MBA, 2) I turned 30, and 3) I moved home.

1. Finishing my MBA was a relief. I learned a lot during my two years back at school, and almost none of it had anything to do with the classroom. I did manage to pick up a few things here and there while actually doing “school” (at the very least, I can say for certain I know of a lot more of the things I don’t know and am ignorant of), but the real learning came in my hours outside of school. I began to learn certain things about myself, such as what kind of work related activities I enjoy and which I don’t. I learned that no matter how hard I try, there are certain people I just have a hard time clicking with and that I’m not everybody’s cup of tea, either. I figured out the things that are important to me, such as freedom and health over wealth and riches, and prioritized myself accordingly. This year especially, in my last semester at school, I started to really feel that the pieces were coming together and that the earlier 1.5 years had prepared me for the journey I find myself on now. I feel there is so much more to write about this two-year time period that a single year-end review post wouldn’t do it justice, so I do plan on reflecting on this time in more detail later down the line.

2. I turned 30. Now, don’t get me wrong, there is nothing inherently special about the number itself, but something clicked at around the same time that my birthday rolled around. I started to take my crazy ideas very seriously. My entire life I’ve been plagued with self-doubt. I let that voice in my head scream loudly while ignoring the beat of my heart. I let well-meaning parents, relatives, friends, and guidance counsellors dictate and control my destiny. In my twenties I spent a lot of time trying to figure out who I was and experimented with all sorts of things, and now that I had the good fortune to play and discover, it’s time I got real. If there was a word for it, I guess it would be wisdom. But I am not that arrogant to think I am wise. I’m taking Steve Jobs’ advice and staying foolish. They say 30 is the new 20, but I hope not. I’d rather 30 be the same 30. It’s time I put on my big kid pants.

3. I moved home. I haven’t moved home in 10 years, and a lot has changed. Not my friends though, they are still the same dudes I remember in high school. All of them got fatter, some of them got bald and married, and a few even made some kids, which terrifies me to be honest. Regardless, I consider many of them as good friends, and a handful of them as my brothers. We’ve drifted far apart in terms of our ideals, morals, priorities, goals, and many other things over the 10 year span, but there is no denying my love for them. Just like family that drives you mad on a family vacation, that’s how I feel when I’m around these guys. But they are my family, and I love them regardless. Surprisingly, being so close to my real family has been awesome. For a person that loves his quiet time and space and solitude, it is nice seeing my parents on the regular. And they aren’t driving me mad. Heaven forbid, I actually enjoy their company!! I have great family and friends and I never wish to take that for granted. They play a huge role in my sanity and a lot of my drive and motivation comes from them.

There were other big milestones this year that I’d like to briefly write about. If you’ve made it this far, congratulations. Jump up and down in the air like you just don’t care. You also receive a free eHug from me. You are either really bored or genuinely care about me, so thanks either way.

I put on 10 lbs of mostly muscle doing barbell training (review of Starting Strength coming soon!). I love strength training and for as long as I am healthy will continue to train it in some form or other. After just under 6 months of training, I’ve gained a non pathetic amount of strength and that makes me happy.

I read a lot of books this year. According to Shelfari, my book count for the year was 142. See my shelf, here. That is more than 2.5 books a week. And that is an under representation as I read many ebooks that are not indexed in Shelfari. Again, reading is one of those loves of mine that just won’t quit. I have an insatiable thirst for knowledge and books are just a perfect medium to feed my addiction. Although Wikipedia, Ted, and Quora are pretty awesome, too. Quora, especially, is like a new kind of crack to me.

I’ve practiced Spanish on a daily basis. I’ve gone at it for 6 months consistently now and am finally starting to not feel like a total dumbass. The sites I’ve used are phenomenal. The first is Duolingo, which helps translate the web and was invented by the same guy who invented captcha, and the other is Memrise, which was started by a memory champion and a neuroscientist. Both are super badass and complement each other very well. Not only do you learn, but it is also quite fun! Me gusta! My profiles are at here and here.

And lastly, although I am not ready to talk about it just yet, I have been extremely busy building a new web app, so I guess that makes me a founder. I wanted to get it out of the door by the end of the year, but there are just a few minor things here and there that I’m not quite happy with before I put it out there to solicit feedback from a select group of trusted individuals. As soon as I get those out of the way and get the feedback, I’ll be sure to announce it here once I release it to the general public. It’s my small contribution to the interwebz and to society, and in Seth Godin lingo, I’ll be shipping my art.

I’m not done. I’m just getting started. Doors have closed, and doors have opened. I’ve played and had my fun, and now it’s time I… still play and have fun 😉 But now I know what I like to play and what I find fun. I’m nervous, I’m excited, I’m anxious yet calm. For the first time in as long as I can remember, I am excited to get up in the morning and ready to give the day hell. I love what I’m doing so I’m going to keep doing it. If 2013 is anything like 2012, it’s going to be exhausting, both emotionally and physically. It’s going to be a ton of work, it’s going to be ugly, and it’s going to be very hard. I say bring it, because that’s when I’m in my element. Let’s roll! Happy 2013!!

“Now this is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning.” – Winston Churchill

Life

Impactful Goodbyes and Hellos. How you touch and are touched

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Last night, I hung out with a former classmate who is moving to Seattle. The week before, I saw him at another goodbye party for another friend who is also leaving. It was the 5th or 6th goodbye this month. The past two years have been amazing. I’ve met some incredible people, and many are scattering all over the globe. Some are as far as places like Brazil, Japan, India, Singapore, and China. For many, I’ll probably never see them again in my life. For the rest, it would be an absolute pleasure to run into them 1 or 2 more times in my lifetime, if I’m lucky. Regardless, some of them I’ll never forget.

In the ongoing story that is being written called life, you’re going to run into people who will have a profound impact on yours, and you on theirs. Even if its just a flash, don’t forget them, because just like that they’ll be gone. I’ll never forget my best childhood friend. In that moment, he was my bestest bud. We ended on bad terms in his eyes, but I’ll never forget him for what he meant to me growing up.  I’ll never forget my first kiss, or the first time I got beat up, but I’ve long since forgotten my fourth kiss and the 26th time I got beat up. The people of impact are usually around in times when you were experiencing something for the first time, hence why you’ll probably have such fond memories of people you’ll encounter while travelling.

I’ll never forget the first time I was ready to call it quits in school because I felt I didn’t have the ability to continue, and my college buddy made me stay. We’ve lost touch, and I’ve never told him that he positively changed the direction of my life for good. I’ll never forget my first love for believing in me when nobody else did. Nobody, including myself. We didn’t work out, but what I learned from her has had profound impacts on who I am, where I am going, and a belief that maybe, just maybe, I can reach my true potential. That type of impact can never be repaid.

I was at a good friend’s wedding earlier this month. He surprised me when during his speech he mentioned that there was one person in particular he would like to thank above everybody else because if it wasn’t for him, he wouldn’t have met his wife. Then he said my name. It was very touching. It touches me still. I don’t think I’ve ever been publicly thanked by anybody before. Earlier this week, I got a text message at 2:30 am from another good friend telling me that he just proposed to his girlfriend and she said yes. They both credit me for introducing them. For me, it was a simple introduction. But for them, it was life changing. Touching. And I’ll never forget it. For those that aren’t in your life any more, consider yourself lucky if you were able to show your appreciation. For those that are around still, it’s never too late.

Friends and Family, Goals, Life

Psssttttttt…is this thing on??

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Wondering if anybody still reads this thing, outside of random Googlers. If you do, awesome, you guys/gals rule. It has been a busy year so far! A lot of things happening that are as exciting as they are scary. I haven’t updated here in a long time not because I didn’t want to and not because I didn’t have the time. In all honesty, I just don’t know what to say. Sometimes the best course of action is no action. Some of the consequences of my decisions won’t be known until a few years out, so I’d rather not comment on them. The things that are going well are doing exceptionally so. And the things that aren’t I’m not really that worried about.

School was one of those things that just kind of took a back burner in terms of priorities. I honestly don’t know if school was the right decision at this point. It has its pluses, it has its minuses, so who knows. What doesn’t? Ask me again in 5 years and I’d have a more solid answer for you. The only real regret I had with school was that I didn’t get to connect with my classmates as much as I would have liked. I lost touch with a bunch of them that I would have liked to see more. But thems the breaks. School was extremely fast paced, stressful for some, and money/finding a job and time was always a concern for many. As for me, my own priorities changed as well and going out constantly and being involved in extra curricular school activities started to wane on me. I much prefer things like solitude, taking on personal challenges, physicality, learning on my own and so that’s what I focused on and set my priorities to. It might have been a schizo move and I acknowledge that but I just have to keep it real to myself and so I apologize to my friends and the potential friendships that I didn’t make because of my actions. There really are fantastic people in my program.

I feel very creative, experimental, and stoic right now. It kind of feels like that feeling when you spend a long time on a really hard math problem and get the right answer. I’m just loving life right now and rolling with the punches. I remind myself that this is my one chance at life and so I am going to do it the way I am going to do it. This summer is going to be my best yet. This much I’m sure of.