Category Archives: Advice

Advice, Gear, Travel

I am going to India!

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I’m heading to India for a month, traveling through the country using planes, trains, and automobiles. It’s a trip I’ve wanted to do now for many years. Timing wise, I would have preferred to do the trip at another time as it really cuts awkwardly into some of my goals and kills some momentum. But three of my best friends are going to be there at various times that I’m there, as well as a few other people who I haven’t seen in a while. I don’t know how many chances I’m going to get to travel with friends like this, so I figure why not. Plus I could use the break as I have been working on overdrive for the last couple of months.

Anyway, I’m only packing a single carry-on backpack like I usually do. A friend asked me for some advice on how to do this so I figure I’d just write something up real quick. Here are some quick tips to help you accomplish this.

1. You need a good bag

You want a carry-on backpack and nothing bigger (I think this point is obvious). There are a ton of them out there as ultra-lite travel is a growing category.  The Wirecutter even did a breakdown and analysis of the best carry-on backpacks.  Getting a quality bag is worth paying extra for because it will last many years and follow you on many travel adventures. My bag, the Aviator from Timbuk2 (no longer available), has been through hell and back and still looks brand new. Before my last trip, I lost one of the female buckles. I walked into the Toronto Timbuk2 store and they replaced it free of charge before I headed to the airport. Thumbs up for awesome customer service.

2. You need good clothing

Good clothing is subjective, but there are some rules I follow. It must look good (that means none of those god awful pants that convert into shorts when you unzip the bottoms aka travel clothes), feel good, and have properties like anti-odour, anti-bacterial, wrinkle-resistant, quick-drying, strong, durable, light, temperature regulating, etc. So cotton and polyester are out, for example. Clothes made of materials such as merino wool, tencel, modal, and silver fibers are generally good candidates for travel clothing. With good clothing, you can bring a single pair of comfortable pants that look good instead of 3 or 4 pairs that will stink after a single wear. When it comes to packing, your clothes will take up the most space so don’t take this lightly. Invest in good clothes.

3. Be prepared to lose it

If you bring it, be prepared to lose it. So things like expensive jewelry are out. Only bring the necessities, and be fully ready in your mind to have it rip, snap, snag, break, get stolen, soiled, burned, and shredded. I have lost count of the number of items I’ve lost over the years while traveling.

4. You don’t need to pack that

The best travel experiences and memories aren’t always comfortable. You have to change your mindset. If you’re female, you might not be able to bring your entire makeup kit. You’ll just have to get used to it. Every single item you have on your packing list must, must, MUST have a good reason to make the cut.  Otherwise, you’ll end up bringing more than you need. That means no hair-dryer “just in case” the hotel doesn’t have one. A carry-on backpack is a great constraint to have – it will keep the number of items you can bring in check. If you bring a huge piece of luggage, you’ll just find ways to fill it up, no matter the size. Embrace the minimalist mindset – you’ll be happier with it.

5. Try to find travel-sized versions

A toothbrush, toothpaste, deodorant are all things that come in travel sizes. Other things like pens, notebooks, nail clippers, and hand-sanitizer all come in tinier sizes. For liquids, you can only carry so much. Get the TSA travel-sized liquid tubes to put your favourite shampoo and other things into if you must. If it passes rule #4 (you don’t need to pack that) then see if you can get a tinier and lighter version of it.

6. Know where you’re going

Packing for a country that can go from rain to wind to sun and back again in a matter of minutes like Iceland will be slightly different than packing for a tropical island like Fiji. Clothes is the obvious thing that will be different. You’d also want to maybe bring an umbrella to Iceland but not Fiji, but you’d bring some bug spray to Fiji and not Iceland. Many things will stay the same, though. If you pack correctly, maybe only a handful of items will change and the rest will stay the same.

7. Get some good shoes

Shoes are a tough one. If you’re packing light, putting an extra pair of shoes into your carry-on can be tough. I generally bring only a single pair of shoes. For women who love their shoes, this might be very tough. Shoes should be comfortable and versatile enough to look good in a variety of outfits and situations. For men, a pair of chukkas, desert boots, or Tom’s classic can go a long way (but depends on #6, where you’re going). For women, I have no clue. Good luck.

8. Try to only bring items that have multiple uses

Because you are so constrained with what you can bring, the items you bring should have multiple uses whenever possible. That’s why things like travel pillows are out. They take up too much space and you only use them on long plane rides. That marginal increase in comfort on the plane ride isn’t worth lugging it around for a few weeks or more. This might make more sense with some examples. Below you’ll see my packing list and gear I’m bringing with me to India.

 

What I’m bringing to India

This is everything I’m taking in my Aviator carry-on backpack or wearing the day of travel. I haven’t finalized my packing list just yet (I’ll likely remove some items rather than add), but this will give you an idea of just how much stuff you can bring in a carry-on backpack.

everything will fit in the baggear bunched togetherfront loading aviator bag front loading aviator bag

 

1. 1 pair of shoes, the Nike Metcon 2. I got these on clearance during Boxing Week at the Nike Outlet. They look decent and are meant for various activities so I figure these are worth a go in India. The pair I bought are a light brown colour.

2. Aviator backpack. This was a gift and I’m mostly pleased with it. One thing drives me crazy with the backpack, and that’s the inability to access the laptop compartment without opening up the top compartment. This is clunky, and sometimes a pain,  especially when getting through airport security. But overall, this is a great bag.

3. 7 pairs of underwear.

I like having loads of underwear on hand, because that’s really the only clothing item I care about having a fresh pair on at all times. Ideally, I’ll do a quick wash of my clothes every 5-6 days, but just in case, having a few extra pairs of undies is worth carrying for me.

4. 5 pairs of socks – 4 pairs of the YAthletics ankle sock  and 1 pair from Unbound Merino. I really love these socks from YAthletics. They don’t stink even after a long day of walking and feel great.

5. 5 T-shirts.

These shirts all look good, feel great, and have great properties. Not washing them is no big deal as they won’t stink, even after a heavy day of sweating and moving. All you really need to do is hang them somewhere to air out and the next day they are as good as new. You can’t do this with a cotton shirt. This is why I say pay for good clothing.

6. 2 pairs of shorts – 1 pair from Cobba and another from Aviator USA. These are both great shorts with lots of neat features and properties. They’ll help me survive the heat in India.

7. 2 pairs of pants – The Live Lite A/C pant and the Live Lite Adventure pant from Dish and Duer. I’m a big fan of Dish and Duer clothing. Their pants are great for a number of reasons. I’ll wear a pair of these in Canada to stay warm as I go to the airport, but will also wear them in India because they’re temperature regulating and I won’t feel like I’m wearing snow pants while I’m there.

8. The MEC ionic hoody. Another item I’ll wear in Canada as I go to the airport. I’ll wear it at night in India should it get a little chilly, especially in the north.

9. The ultrafine long sleeve crew neck from Element Pure. Made of tencel, this is an amazing long sleeve. I’ll wear this in Canada as well as on chilly nights.

10. Wind jacket from Puma. I don’t know the exact version or product name. I bought this on a whim in Hong Kong and I think I’ll be replacing it soon. It packs in super tiny, though and weighs almost nothing. Worth bringing to stay warm in places where it might be windy or at night.

11. Uniqlo down jacket. This thing packs in super tight. On my last trip to Chicago, I forgot I had brought it because it is so light. I ended up letting my buddy wear it to stay warm as it was unusually windy and cold (or usually, damn you Chicago!). I’ll wear this in Canada and doubt I’ll wear it at all in India. This can also double as a pillow on flights and trains.

12. Chaos multi tubular. Made of merino wool, I can use this as a scarf, balaclava, neck warmer, and so on. This is what I mean by a multi-purpose item. This will also keep me warm while I’m still in Canada and making my way to the airport.

10. Apple Macbook. Since I’ll be working for half the trip, I’ll need my laptop. These Macbooks are slim, light, and super sexy.

11. Nexus 6P. A big and powerful phone. It’s the only one I have, otherwise I’d prefer something smaller. I’ll use it to take photos and look at maps when I get lost.

12. 2 USB to USB-C cables. These are to charge my phone and Macbook. It saves me from carrying the Macbook charger.

13. Cambridge anti-pollution mask. I’ll use this for protection against the bad air quality in places like New Delhi. It will look weird and is tough to breathe in, but I’ll get used to it.

14. The Anker power charger. This is another example of a multi-use item. It acts as a wall charger, but also has its own internal battery that can act as a portable battery when away from a wall outlet to charge your phone or laptop while on the road.

15. Cozyphones sleep headphones. To help me go to bed through the noisy cities in India. I’ll be using this every night so to me it is worth bringing.

16. Scrubba portable wash bag. I’ll use this to do my laundry. Fill it up with soap, water, and dirty clothes, then beat up the bag for 5-10 minutes. Rinse and hang dry the clothes, and bammo, good as new.

17. Beats urbeats earphones. They were on sale over Boxing Week and I needed some. They seem to fit my ears pretty well. I tend to go through earphones very quickly, but I’m hoping the Beats last much longer than what I’m used to.

18. Kikkerland UL03-A Universal Travel Adapter. This thing rocks. A travel adapter that is very portable and works just about everywhere, in every country I’ve been in.

19. Manta sleep mask. One of the best sleep masks I own. This one is super light, small, and you can adjust the eye covers to maximize light blocking.

20. Grayl water bottle. Water is a little sketchy and undrinkable from the tap in India. The Grayl is an awesome portable water bottle that will make any water drinkable. I’ll probably use this a lot.

21. Travelmore 20L Jetpack. This is a badass little daypack that crunches down fairly small, but has a lot of great features and holds up quite well as a daypack. I’ll use it to carry my Grayl, hand sanitizer, money, and maybe some snacks whenever I go anywhere and am leaving the Aviator in my hotel room.

22. Gee-Fi portable wifi device. This thing will act as a router and give me wifi just about anywhere. It costs 10 bucks a day to use, though, so I’ll only use it when wifi at hotels and lobbies aren’t available.

23. Deuter toiletry kit. This kit contains things like a travel toothbrush, toothpaste, floss, nail clippers, disposable razor, deodorant, a portable clothesline, some bandaids, Tide to Go stick, Tide laundry packets, hand sanitizer, and medicine including benadryl, gravol, and immodium.

24. Other miscellaneous items include wipes, tissues, ear plugs, pen, moleskin notepad, headphone splitter, flashlight, safety pins, athletic tape, portable power strip, key and key chain, printed copies of passport, travel insurance, plane tickets, hotel confirmations, and train tickets.

As you can see, that’s actually quite a lot of stuff I’m able to fit into a single backpack. By following my tips you should easily be able to do the same. Traveling with a single bag is a liberating experience. Once you do it once or twice and get the hang of it you won’t ever want to pack one of those huge suitcases ever again.

Advice, Life, Mindset

Need directions? Have an Internal Compass. A simple guide to help navigate through life.

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Life can often times get crazy. You know this. I know this. We all know this. How we handle that craziness is largely an unconscious process. It’s culled from years of social conditioning, parenting, culture, experience and genetics. And unless you’ve been deliberate about it, it’s tough to know what is going on with how you react to the world. It’s more like, something happens, you react somehow and do something. Something else happens, you react again and do something else. And these reactions are consistent with how you’ve reacted in the past for the most part. After years of consistency, most of these reactions are instinctual. You wake up, read the morning newspaper and have your cup of coffee before treading off to work. Others you are born with. Something funny happens, you laugh. Others you decide on. Should you wear white socks or black socks today? The more perceived importance of the decision, the longer it takes to decide and the harder it is. Do you take that job in LA and uproot your entire family? Or do you stick around in your dead-end job so your kids get to stay at the private school they worked so hard to get into?

If you decide the same way enough times you’ve eventually formed an automated habit. These decisions, habits and reactions become a lot easier to figure out if you have some guidance. This isn’t about morals or ethics per se. This isn’t about right and wrong. And these aren’t rules. Think of it more like an internal compass that’s always there to guide you whenever you need it.

Ready for the secret? It’s quite simple. Prioritize the values and ideals that are important to you. Let me explain by giving you my most important ideals.

Curiosity

Curiosity is all about having an open mind. It let’s me explore things just like my childhood favourite Curious George. This has allowed me to explore so many aspects of life that I am so grateful that I was born with this curiosity. Thankfully it has never left. Does Curious George get himself into some funny and interesting predicaments? You bet your ass he does. But that’s what makes that cute monkey so adorning and interesting. My own curiosity has taken me all over the world, experiencing fascinating cultures, meeting interesting people, exploring cool places and discovering new activities. Curiosity has let me explore vegetarianism, survivalism, salsa dancing, pickup, self-help, meditation and an endless number of random things.

Pragmatist

Being pragmatic is all about being practical instead of dreaming about an ideal world. I struggled with this a lot in my youth and early adulthood. I always wanted things to be how they should, not how they are. And it would cause intense anger, ruin relationships, and just general malaise. But now armed with a pragmatic attitude, I can quickly adapt to what’s in front of me and just go with the flow, so to speak. This practicality embedded in real life let’s me change opinions I have over time as new information becomes available to me, rather than vomiting the same dogma all too common among the world’s “Gurus” out there. Barbell training came from staying pragmatic towards the goals I was trying to accomplish. So did rock climbing, jiu jitsu, intermittent fasting, paleo, etc.

Optimism

Staying optimistic is just good for my soul. If I didn’t stay optimistic, I’d probably stop pursuing a lot of my passions and just be a bummer to be around all the time. You all know pessimistic people in your life. If you don’t know any, you are probably that person. There’s definitely a place for pessimism (it’s included in the next one below). But I know having an optimistic attitude as the default has given me courage in places I didn’t think courage existed, kept me doggedly persistent on the things I believe in, and given me that last bit of hope in darker times.

Stoicism

I didn’t even know this was a thing until I started reading up on Marcus Aurelius after watching Gladiator for the 10,287th time. (I love Marcus, by the way. Here was a dude, ruler of the known universe, who could do whatever the hell he wanted without punishment. And yet he tried, and largely succeeded, to be pure like Ivory soap. What a fucking OG). As luck would have it, it turned out that a lot of the practices I was already doing fell quite in line with the stoic philosophy. There are absolute gems in Stoicism that, if practiced, can make you instantly feel better and live a happier, more fulfilled life. Read here, here, and here for some quick Stoic wins.

Rational

I try to stay rational whenever possible. Mind you, this doesn’t always happen and it is a continual practice. That means science, math, and logic, bitches! That means not believing everything you’re told at face value, but actually taking the time to think about it thoughtfully and logically. That means stepping away from a heated argument when someone is pressing your buttons so you can let your emotions pass and actually think about shit. And yet, the quirks of the human mind are quite real. Even predictable, as Dan Ariely and others have brought to popularity in recent years. Nobody is impervious to them. Putting guards in place or using them to your advantage are your best bet at not letting them own your ass. (If you’re interested, check out Predictably Irrational for an intro to some of the irrational things we do.)

 

Examples of how this works.

Since curiosity is high on my ideals list, I’m constantly trying out new things. It’s so important to me that unless I schedule it in, curiosity can can hurt my productivity quite a bit. So I have to block off chunks of time where I am free to do whatever I want. Sometimes I’ll peruse crowdfunding sites like Kickstarter and Indiegogo (this is my new addiction, btw, NOT RECOMMENDED) to check out all these cool projects. Other times I’ll dink around with new programming languages or frameworks that fascinate me like React from Facebook. And other times I’ll just read a book on a topic I know nothing about. I don’t put any limits on it. When I’m curious I’m God mode curious.

Now what happens when I discover something from my curiosity that is better in some way compared to something I currently do or believe? Well the pragmatic side of me weighs the pros and the cons, and if the pros win I’ll start to change and adapt if it is practical to do so. Even if it goes against some strongly held beliefs I have.

Since pragmatism is important, if I need to I will be irrational and pessimistic in certain situations. For example, if there’s an empowering belief, such as being able to start up a successful business despite the odds of success, you damn right I’m taking it. Even if it isn’t rational. These are things like being optimistic that the path you’re on will work despite the odds. This is the “fake it till you make it” advice that actually works. Mind follows body. Body follows mind.

Stoicism has an idea known as “voluntary discomfort”. Why do this? Because it makes you stronger and builds character. It’s like strength training. Pulling a heavy ass weight off the floor isn’t exactly comfortable, but do it safely and consistently because you’ll be better off for it in the long run.

That’s what guides me. Your compass will be different. But imagine what you can do with your own internal compass. No more walking around the world like a zombie. No more going through the motions because that’s what everybody else does. Imagine getting out of ruts faster. Imagine maneuvering through tricky situations because your compass guided you. Give it a go. Yes, it does take a lot of effort. But in the end you won’t regret it.

Advice, Business, Life

Speed Kills: Why Moving Quickly is Important and How You Can, Too

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Speed kills. And no, I’m not talking about driving as fast as you can to your fiery doom. Although that’s possibly true as well. I’m talking about how important speed is in your life to help you kill it.

The important of speed cannot be overstated. If you look at almost any athletic endeavour, speed is a large determining factor in who wins and loses. Take the obvious ones such as any running event away, and you still have many sports where speed is of the utmost importance. I’m not going to list them all here, just use your imagination (hint: all of them). Team sports may seem more nuanced, but even there speed is at the top of the list for victory. Have a team that is way faster than you? Play defence to slow them down. Want to win the game? Score more points than the other guys. Score quicker.

Here’s an interesting interview Inc did on Paul Graham, the stud behind YCombinator. What’s the most important thing he values in startups? Speed. You go too slow and you starve, run out of money, and call it a day. Why do you think companies like Uber succeed despite the odds of success? They move faster than the big, slow ass taxi companies. Almost any David and Goliath battle you can think of was won on speed. At the very least, speed was a contributing factor.

As a consumer, who are you going to go get your pizza from, the mom and pop shop that can get you your grub in 30 minutes flat or the Pizza Hut across town that’ll take at least 75 minutes? If Facebook took 25 seconds to load, think you’d stick around for it? Probably not. I mean, I’m not waiting around 25 seconds just to look at my friends’ baby pictures and neither should you.

One of the best books I read during my MBA was for Operations class called “The Goal”. I almost failed that class, by the way. I probably did fail, but since it’s MBA they gave me a pity pass. Huge. Anyway, The Goal. This is Jeff Bezos favourite book on Operations Management. I think every business person should read it. It’s all about operational efficiency. You want to move efficiently so that you can execute quicker. More throughput. More output. One of the key takeaways I got from that book is finding the bottlenecks in your system. This is so important because you are only as efficient as your weakest link. You’re only as fast. Eliminate the bottleneck and your operational efficiency skyrockets. Thus, it’s a continual game of eliminating bottlenecks. Bam, max speed, max dolla dolla bills yall.

So the question becomes how do you move and act faster? Here are 5 unconventional tactics to do just that.

Do Less

That’s right, we all have 24 hours in the day but how are you utilizing those hours? Are you juggling your family life with your social life and your 32 volunteer obligations and 13 hobbies while doing those night courses at the local community college? Dude, take it easy already. There’s a ramp up and ramp down period to every task you do, so if you have a lot of tasks there are all these tiny ramp up and ramp down periods that quickly suck up a lot of time. No wonder you can’t get your homework done on time at that poetry night class you’re taking.

Minimize Decisions

Decide less. What do you mean, you ask? I mean just that. Steve Jobs wore the same damn turtle neck every day. Mark Zuckerberg wears a hoody. They don’t decide on what they should wear. It’s already been decided for them. There, one less decision. Aside from the time saved from picking out a wardrobe for the day, the less decisions you have to make in the day means the faster you can get through them. Think of it like a pile of tps reports you have to go through on your desk. The smaller the pile, the faster you can get them done.

Decide Faster

Don’t agonize over the small stuff. No, nobody at work gives a shit that your dress shirt is artichoke green but your socks are granny smith apple. Just decide already. Should you have Greek or Chinese for lunch? Pick the one closest to you. Or not, but who cares. That decision should be near instantaneous. If you’re at a restaurant and the menu has 78 items on it. DON’T READ THE WHOLE DAMN MENU. Pick a few pages that look good, like burgers, because you love burgers, and choose from there. Trust me, your lunch companions will thank you.

Optimize your Environment

This is all about having the perfect setup to help you decide faster, less, and more efficiently. Should you go for that morning jog today? Well that’s a hard decision to make if you jog on a track that is at your gym which is the other way from work. But that decision becomes infinitely easier if you have amazing trails in your backyard and your running clothes and shoes are the first things you see when you wake up. Then this no longer becomes a decision, but rather a habit. You put on your clothes, shoes, open the back door, and start jogging. The decision is gone.

It’s All About Your Energy

Time management is over-rated. Energy management is completely under-rated. Read “The Power of Full Engagement” by Tony Schwartz. This one is a must read, in my opinion. It has changed the way I think about managing time and energy. How effective are you going to be when you’re exhausted all of the time? Man, I wish I knew this in university because if I knew then what I know now I’d certainly stop powering through all of those late nights staring blankly at those textbooks. A good nights rest and a focused 1 hour is infinitely better than an all nighter to get those extra 8 hours of study time. Thankfully, I did learn my mistakes and apply this methodology daily. It’s more of a mantra now. If you’re tired, take a break and stop powering through shit.

Bonus: I know I said I’d give you 5 unconventional tactics to improve speed, but since you’ve made it this far I love you and will give you one more – the most unconventional one of them all.

Slow Down

What. The. F ALL CAPS. Yep, slow down. Go for a hike. Stop and smell the flowers. Release your inner Picasso and paint for a while. Take up skateboarding. Make love to your wife. Go slow. Remember what I said about energy management? Well this is a key component of that. Try new things and do the things you love. Come back recharged and ready to hit it. Sprinters don’t practice sprinting for 16 hours a day. No, they sprint, then chilllll. Sprint, then chilllll. Say it with me: “Sprint, then chillllll.”

The downside of turning into a speed demon is that you’ll get more work. If you’re manager needs something done quickly, who do you think he’s going to go to, you or Steve the Sloth? Remember, fast gets fed, and slow gets starved. Adjust accordingly and use these powers wisely. And always remember, speed kills my friend *said in my best Bruce Lee voice*.

Advice, Habits

Avoiding Brain Drain.

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Do you ever find yourself just completely exhausted after a long day of work, or perhaps a long day out taking care of your kids or dealing with family? Heck, ever get that feeling where your entire body and mind feel drained even though you’ve been sitting down in front of a desk all day staring at a computer? You shouldn’t feel drained, you didn’t even do anything physically taxing!

Ah, but the mind, it uses energy too. And just like physical energy, there is a finite amount of mental energy available to you. The more you use, the more you lose. Every time you make a decision, a little bit of mental energy depletes. Ever use the term “Long day at work” even though it might have been 8 hours just the same? I call it the end of day mush. Focusing on hard problems. mush. Hard, hard concentration. Lots of mush. The brain gets fatigued much like the body does. During undergrad, my brain was in a permanent state of mush. It was a disaster.

The brain also needs sustenance much like the body does. The brain’s endurance can be strengthened much like the body. If you’re out of shape, you might be able to take a few steps of stairs, but might be unable to walk 10 flights of stairs – at least not without breaks and recovery and sustenance. Think of a video game – hold down the turbo button for a burst of energy, but eventually you’ll blow your wad if you don’t recharge. NBA Jam, anyone? However, if you train the brain, eventually 10 flights of “brain” stairs is nothing.

Focused concentration takes a lot of energy. So does willpower. It depletes. Some studies suggest that low levels of blood glucose lowers performance on “willpower” tasks like self control and motivation. But then restoring glucose also helped in restoring performance. So there you go, just have some fruit or gatorade! That’s perhaps one simple and useful trick. And a good trick to have in your tool belt. And another idea that I like a lot is to minimize your decision making. Ever wonder why Steve Jobs always wore a turtle neck? Or why Mark Zuckberberg sticks to a hoody? Perhaps, and this is just a theory, they intuitively understood the idea of minimizing decisions so they could have the energy to focus on the important stuff like their work and their legacy.

Sleep is also one of those things that seems to recharge the brain and body. Napping is a key method that can be used throughout the day to help restore some brain juice. History is filled with superstar nappers. Churchill, Napolean, Leonardo da Vinci, Edison, etc… A daily nap(s) is huge.

Other forms of relaxation that I find are useful include things like meditation, listening to calming music, doing some form of physical activity like going for a walk, lifting weights, or playing a sport. Anything that you enjoy is fair game including playing a game, painting, reading a good book, etc. – as long as it isn’t in excess and helps the mind stay away from the thing that was draining it is good in my books.

Full confession. I get brain drain every single day to varying degrees. If I don’t have my nap, and I didn’t get a good nights sleep, and I don’t get in any form of exercise. Forget it, I’m done for the day. Mush brain. However, if I’m on point, and I’m able to fit in some light reading or some meditation, I can keep on going like the Energizer bunny. In my experience, a focused 3-4 hours of hard, concentrated work produces much better results then 10 hrs of unfocused, mush brain work. So I always like to take breaks when I can. Work. Nap. Work. Read. Work. Exercise. Work. Coffee. Work. Eat. Work. Play. Work. Sleep. Turtlenecks and Hoodies. Ah, the good life.

 

Advice, Life

Rise from the ashes… anytime you wish

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For as long as I can remember, the Phoenix has always been one of my favourite mythical creatures. Maybe it is from growing up with Xmen and reading comic books about Phoenix – aka Jean Grey. Or it could be that Phoenix was a badass summon in Final Fantasy 7, one of my most favourite video games of all time (or that the Phoenix Down would save your ass every time in all of the Final Fantasy games). Maybe something else, I’m not sure. But I do know that the idea of a phoenix is pretty darn cool. For those that don’t know, a phoenix is this amazing fire bird that would regenerate. According to wikipedia, historics say the phoenix could be symbolic for a whole bunch of things including the sun and time.

The idea of cycles and seasonality is at the very core of all that is natural. The sun, the moon, the seasons. Your own body runs on cycles and rhythms. Math is rammed with them. Music. On and on. Regen, rebirth, rinse, repeat. On it goes. The phoenix is just like that. With feathers and wings. And a beak. The one in the Harry Potter movies was so pretty.

Your life is like a metaphorical phoenix. It’s seasonal. And rhythmic or something. You will rise, you will fall. If you ever hit rock bottom, the only place to go is up. Rise from the ashes like a phoenix, baby! If you find yourself on top, enjoy it while it lasts. Even P Diddy can’t stay on top forever. 10 years maybe, but definitely not forever.

Every day you have a genuine shot at rebirth. The choice is yours. It might not feel that way in the mundane day to day, but really it is. It’s hard to convince someone to try new things. The harder it is to convince him, the slower the rebirth. The cycle is longer. It’s like staying at that shit job until you get shit canned. Bam, rebirth time. Or that god awful relationship because of inertia that abruptly ends cause your partner dumped you for being so boring. Sweet, rise phoenix, rise! But why’s it have to happen to most people only when they get shit on? Why does it have to be the last possible option? I don’t get it. Why isn’t it one of the first possible options? You choose. It can happen anytime you want. Don’t forget that.

Advice, Stories

Don’t believe your own bullshit

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I had a friend in university who was a compulsive liar. By far the worst I’ve ever met. He had the most RIDICULOUS stories ever imaginable. I can’t even begin to describe the ridiculousness if I tried. I will try anyway…

Ok so there was this one about this cop who would get him cocaine. Super cop crosses the borders with a trunk full of the stuff. And the cop would give him as much of it as he wanted free of charge. The cop would also kill people for him. And make hookers have sex with him and his friends. And so on. You get the point. I’m still not even a sliver close to the ridiculousness of this cop story. It’s way better x10000. I cannot even go there, it’s way too elite for me. Sorry, I tried.

He had a million of these stories. They were never ending. Everybody knew he was full of shit. He’d look you right in the eye and just spew verbal diarrhea. He was a likable guy, and people liked him nonetheless. He built a reputation for being the nice guy who bullshitted everything. When he wasn’t around we’d swap stories on what lies he told for the day. It was entertaining and always good for a laugh. I wish tumblr was around back in the day, because the stories would make a great tumblr blog. The crazy thing is, I believe he actually believed his stories.

Most people lie. It’s the degree of lying that’s different. Telling the truth all of the time is actually kind of awkward. See http://www.esquire.com/features/honesty0707, it’s an article about “Radical Honesty”, which is about telling the truth all of the time.

The worst kind of lie is the kind that hurts others. This could be a lie that gets somebody beat up, arrested, financially destroyed, or some other awful thing. The next worst are the ones you tell yourself.

The ones you tell yourself are often subtle. They start off innocent enough. “I don’t have time to do…”, “I can’t do that because…”, “It’s not my fault because…”. These lies start to accumulate. A white lie here. A tiny lie there. Sooner or later, the lines start to blur. You are not sure what is real anymore. And then you turn into my college buddy with the super cop friend.

In other words, you start to fool yourself and become delusional. The lies you tell yourself start to become the lies you believe. So much so that you start telling them to others, as if they were true. Your friends believe them, until they don’t. Until you’ve tricked them enough times that they simply don’t believe anything you say anymore. They no longer believe your bullshit, even if you still do. See “The Boy Who Cried Wolf”.

People who are full of shit, don’t always know they are full of shit. It starts small. It starts innocent. Now the lies have taken over their life. This isn’t some Breaking Bad TV episode. This is the real deal. Do you consider yourself an honest person? Read Dan Ariely’s “The Honest Truth About Dishonesty”, it’s awesome. You’ll find some really interesting insights about human behaviour and honesty in that one. All I’ll say is that maybe you aren’t as honest as you think you are. Maybe you fudge the truth ever so slightly and convince yourself it’s the right thing to do just so it fits in your current reality. I know for certain I’m probably not as honest as I think I am. I just pray I know the difference between the bullshit I tell myself and the bullshit I tell myself that I actually believe. If not, hopefully the lies are good.