I’m going to let you in on a little secret: machoness is overrated. There are macho dudes that ARE macho because it is who they are, and then there is everybody else trying to be macho. Macho guys are strong, and the fake machos are not. The fake machos lack strength and they try really hard to hide this fact by acting macho. Little do they know that what’s stronger and sexier than acting macho is acknowledging weakness and exposing vulnerability. That’s true power.
Look at this:
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4HpC6GVjC18
That’s strength right there. To believe in his art so intensely that he would take huge career risks to dress up as a woman, look hideously, and cry about it because of what he believes to be flaws in the human condition. Hoffman, a true artisan. Think he could have gotten there by acting macho? Nope, probably not.
Vulnerability is not weakness as we are so often led to believe, it is true strength. Healthy relationships cannot thrive without vulnerability. Mastery, a road paved with failure, setbacks and roadblocks cannot occur without vulnerability. Realizing that you probably do look silly, you are weak, and people probably are laughing at you, but you are going to try your best anyway (just kidding about people laughing at you, rarely does anybody care). That’s vulnerability, and man is it powerful.
Artists are vulnerable every time they show the world their art. Musicians are vulnerable any time they release new music. Architects, dancers, actors, entrepreneurs, builder of things, the shakers, movers and the doers, they are all vulnerable.
Critics, man. Always the critics. They come at you from all angles, trying to attack you whenever you step out into the world with your art. Don’t act macho and don’t put up your walls. Feel the sting, take the hits, fall on your ass, and get right back up. That’s vulnerability and that is also a great source of strength.
There is no honesty, no self expression, no courage without vulnerability. It is there for a reason. To pass it off as weakness and to shun it away is a great disservice to yourself. But do not confuse vulnerability with cowardice, whininess, or childishness. Vulnerability is opening up the soul for others to see and comes from strength and power while the others come from the same place that acting macho comes from – a lack of maturity, the ego, excuses, and so on all in the name of self preservation and the status quo. They are weak efforts to try to maintain or improve upon your position in the social heirarchy. Vulnerability is giving up your position altogether, to start from the bottom because it feels right, consequences be damned, and saying screw the social heirarchy. And who knows, maybe…. just maybe, one day you’ll end up at the top.
Say it with me: “I am scared and I am vulnerable. And that’s ok.”