This year so far has been one of those crazy transitional ones for me.  Its probably the most uncomfortable and challenging time I’ve been through, but also the most rewarding.  Everything I have been doing or trying is not second nature to me.  Its been fail after fail.  I got demoted at work.  It seems any time I try to do the right thing I get burned.  I had to do some serious soul searching and make some tough decisions and sacrifices.  I eventually came up with three rules for myself during this transitional period. 1) Workout six days a week. 2) Hangout with friends and family whenever possible. 3) Work until my eyeballs bleed.  This was not easy.  It made me very aggressive with my time.  I was working 100+ hour weeks.  Night after night I sat in front of my computer until my eyes were fuzzy.  I balanced that out with hanging out with my best friends and seeing family members I haven’t really seen in years.  Sacrifices were made.  I stopped reading.  I didn’t get to do a lot of the things I really wanted to do like outdoor bouldering, bjj and playing the harmonica.  I stopped meditating and yoga and writing.  My diet suffered.  I mean *really* suffered.  Aunts and uncles were looking to feed me their favourite dishes every day.  Eating became a thing to do with friends for no other reason except because we needed something to do while hanging out (just like the good ol days!).  My performance and reputation at work took a hit as I waited to be called out by somebody.  Nobody did.  I made myself insignificant as I pumped the brakes and refocused my energy.  But I had to do it for myself and for that I have absolutely zero regrets.  I had no guidance from anybody except my favourite bloggers: Tim Ferriss, Ramit Sethi, Leo Babauta, Derek Sivers, Chris Guillebeau, and Seth Godin who would seem to come out with some sort of motivational post any time I would question myself and what I was doing.  It was like they knew how I was feeling and how to correct it at exactly the right time.  If you were to ask me if I were to do it again any differently I would say absolutely, I would have done this sooner.

“Do what you feel in your heart to be right – for you’ll be criticized anyway. You’ll be damned if you do, and damned if you don’t.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

I started freelancing and discovered that I could do this full time.  I made some really good connections and learned some cool new skills.  I also discovered the world of online marketing.  It annoys me how terrible I am at it.  Imagine trying to learn every sport all at once, and that’s how I feel about this.  It is like an entirely new world I discovered, kind of like the time I found out that people go on the internet to learn pickup but way, way cooler and way more annoying.  But I’m building my muscles and paying my dues, this much I know.  I’m putting myself in some serious debt.  Aside from time, money is another thing I’ve been aggressive in.  But I feel ok doing it because I am not spending on fancy watches and nice shoes but rather paying for useful software, paying for memberships and subscriptions and educational courses, investing aggressively, all things that have potential to bring back a positive ROI (and some have already).

School starts in September and I can honestly say I am not looking forward to it.  I am not convinced that the material you learn and the people you meet are worth the $75k bill that it requires.  Take that same $75k, apply it to the school of hard knocks over the same 2 year period, and the education and connections you make are likely way more valuable.  I’ve been to a few school events already and I know good friends who have completed or are completing the program at top tier schools.  Highly motivated, highly intelligent, successful people.  Lots still can’t find jobs.  Others question why they did it in the first place.  The rest don’t seem to really care beyond the superficial surface relationships.  This keeps me awake at night.  But I could be wrong, and there’s only one way to find out, so we shall see.

I’m very thankful for the people I’ve met and the friendships I’ve forged at my previous employer.  Some, like my manager, were highly influential in my growth and development over the years and this I will never forget or be able to repay.  But its time to move on.  I feel this should have happened sooner and it felt like it just kept dragging on but its over now and it feels nice not having any responsibility outside of myself.  I am really glad I don’t have a minivan and a mortgage.  I am really happy I don’t have any mouths to feed, because if I did I would be terrible at it.  That lifestyle honestly feels like it is a lifetime away at the rate I am going.  Slow and steady wins the race, at least that’s what I keep telling myself.  I have too much I need to see, experience, feel before I’m ready for that.  If I had all the money in the world, all the women I could handle and I could be anywhere in the world and be doing anything I want, where would I be and what would I be doing?  I’d be in Iceland, with all of my possessions strapped to my back, looking for adventure and hanging out with friends.  If not there then Japan, or Brazil, or Egypt.  Seeking solitude in India or building a school in Laos. I’m still not there but this is never far from my thoughts.  How do you eat an elephant?  One bite at a time.  I start today.  And I brought my appetite.

I’ll be updating at http://landland.posterous.com for any quicky pics and notes that I can throw up for the next little while on my adventure.