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Life

detach yourself from attachments

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“The things you own end up owning you.” – Tyler Durden, Fight Club

One of my best buddies in the whole wide world asked me to stop teaching him stuff, in reference to all the awesome value I am bringing here on martywong.com. He then showed me his blackberry which just has a whackload of quotes he’s yanked to keep himself in check. Awesome, awesome. I’ll keep at it, I still have lots more awesomeness to bring.

Last lesson, i spoke of the abundance mentality. In it, I describe that instead of saving your money you should be spending it as that is what a person with wealth abundance would do. However, that is probably not the greatest advice for most people in North America. I don’t remember where I heard this, but North Americans, for the first time in our history, on average spend more then we save. In other words, we are in the negative when it comes to money on average. It blew my mind when I heard this. That’s the reason the economy is all poopy in the first place. Banks giving mortgages out to people who can’t pay them back, and these people buying houses that are out of their budgets and overpriced to begin with. Madness, absolute madness. Then bailouts, oh man worst idea ever. Its this short term thinking that has put things in the pooper in the first place. But I suppose, many people can’t help it. Brainwashed, literally brainwashed we are. Get that fancy car, the big house, that beautiful family, ah the American dream. When I speak of abundance, there is something else critical to that piece of the puzzle; detachment. Because when you become detached from material goods, and live life simply, you will find that the things you thought you wanted, you no longer want. When you detach yourself from outcome, there’s a tendency for the outcome that you were hoping for to naturally occur. And if it doesn’t, no sweat, because we come from abundance, got it?

Chances are, the things you think you need, you probably don’t. The things you thought you wanted, get pretty old after a while. That thing you got that made you happy, doesn’t make you happy anymore. How do I know? Because I’ve been there, done that. I once heard somebody say that you know you have found ultimate happiness when you are in an empty room by yourself and are at complete peace and serenity. I don’t know if that’s true or not, but I’d say that’s a good indication you no longer have any attachments. The most conscious people in our history all carried this detachment trait. Don’t be your average North American, don’t buy that fancy watch and feel guilty you bought it, knowing you could have spent it on something more useful. Buy that watch and enjoy it for what it is, a nice fancy watch. Pay attention though, if it brings you that temporary high, you’ve got some work to do. Let’s not spend recklessly and on unnecessary items, detach from material goods, detach from outcome, and live abundantly. We are not a sum total of our wealth and goods. We are so much more, if only we could see. Are you starting to see?

Life

Unconditional Love

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“I believe that my life’s gonna see, the love I give return to me.” – John Mayer

It is written.  Those are the last words written on the screen before the ending credits of Slumdog Millionaire.

“This is our destiny.”  Those are the last words said at the end of the movie.

The story is beautifully woven around a young boy who transcends his painful past growing up in the slums of India to become a contestant and winner on the Indian-version of Who Wants To Be A Millionaire. All in the name of love. Synopsis has been yanked from The City Bee.   I had no idea it was a love story.  I thought the movie was going to be a comedy, but it was a really gripping love story, set in India and through a game show.  I saw this movie over the weekend, I sometimes wonder if the universe is giving me these things exactly at times when I need them the most.

This only happens in movies, right?  Love at first sight, star crossed lovers, that sort of thing.  I wonder if back in the real world, you really do come across that one special someone that you know is absolutely your soulmate.  I wonder that if you two do meet, how would you know?  I wonder if that time comes, are you both really willing to jump and take a leap of faith like they do so beautifully in the movies and in the romeo and juliet type stories of the world.  It seems so wonderful in the tales, but reality is never the same.  I do, however, believe in unconditional love.  At its deepest core, it means loving yourself fully and completely.  And no, not that type of self love.  But the type where you truly appreciate yourself as a human and as a unique individual, and understanding that you are exactly as God created you and that you are one with the universe and everything around you.  With this type of love, you find beauty in everything.  Unbelievable compassion will come from you.  Jesus was like this, Buddha was like this, Mother Teresa was like this, and believe it or not, we can all be like this too.

When your lover breaks your heart, love them anyway.  When your family treats you poorly, love them anyway.  When your friends neglect you, love them anyway.  When you are treated disrespectfully by someone, love them anyway.  Unconditionally.

I’ve come to believe that when you truly love yourself, you offer nothing but awesomeness to the world and the universe, and in turn, you will be given nothing but awesomeness back.  I believe in miracles.

Not all stories have happy endings.  But the journey, those happy moments shared together, that’s where the real happiness lies.  I wonder… if it really is already written.

Life

100% responsibility

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“We are each responsible for our own life – no other person is or even can be.” – Oprah

Today’s lesson involves accepting fully and completely that you are responsible for your life, and nobody else.  This is in direct contrast with the poor me, victim mentality that many people have.  If you have ever felt screwed over, if you’ve ever felt victimized, chances are you aren’t taking full responsibility of your life.  If you feel you are in a stuck situation and you can’t get out, it’s absolutely your responsbility to get yourself out, because it was you who put you there in the first place.

Of course there are things that are out of our control.  If a tornado decides to touch down in the city you live in where tornados aren’t prone, well damn diggity that just sucks.  However, its still your responsbility to protect yourself and those close to you if a tornado does touch down.

I’ll tell you why people don’t take responsibility for their life.  Its too easy not to.  Taking responsibility is hard and there’s a good chance that you will fail. A lot.  I remember in second year university  I studied so hard for my microelectronics midterm, which was worth 30% of my final mark.  I ended up getting a 3/30.  How degrading and humiliating I felt, to know I gave it my best and it still wasn’t enough.  After a pep talk from a good buddy of mine, I decided from that point on that I was going to take full responsbility for everything I do and everything that happens to me.  When negativity happens, know that you were responsible for creating it in someway.  Find the lesson.  The same goes when positivity happens.  good job, you created that!  How empowering, knowing that you can shape your destiny!  I’d say that’s pretty cool.

“You have to do your own growing no matter how tall your grandfather was.” – Abraham Lincoln

Life

the purpose of this post is purpose.

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What is purpose? Hmm.  I think to put it simply is, what’s your reason for getting up in the morning?  If you don’t have a reason, then you probably don’t have a purpose.  You don’t even necessarily have to write down what your purpose is, but if you find yourself excited to get up in the morning then chances are you’re onto something.  I was really confused about my purpose this past year. I wrote it down last year and forgot to look it over.  Then a few weeks ago I had a read through and liked what i saw.  I revised it somewhat, as you probably should do from time to time, especially if you aren’t quite sure or if you start growing.  Some things to help you out on this lesson.

What makes you smile? What are you really good at? What excites you?  What can you do for hours on end? What are your morals, beliefs and values?  What would you regret not doing in your life? What do people most ask you for help with?

Answer all those questions. Then go watch Groundhog Day and learn some lessons.  You can screw up over and over until you finally get sick of screwing up.  Eckart Tolle likes to say that being in deep suffering is a great way to become conscious.  Or, in other words, you’ll get sick of feeling sorry for yourself and start finding purpose when you hit rock bottom.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” – by Marianne Williamson

Life

the curse of instant gratification.

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“If I have made any valuable discoveries, it has been owing more to patient attention than to any other talent.”
Sir Isaac Newton

we live in a magic pill society. media has a way of spamming us with empty promises and quick fixes.  just look at the weight loss industry as a perfect example.  diet pills, machines that vibrate while you watch tv, diets that claim you can eat anything you want, magazines claiming washboard abs in 3 weeks with only 10 minutes of exercise a day.  sadly, patience and persistence have faded, and laziness and avoidance of pain have taken over.  convenience and consumerism have brainwashed us.  it is not like this in other places (although these habits are influencing the rest of the world a little bit at a time).

the problem with instant gratification is it is fleeting.  temporary highs, followed by the next instant gratification fix.  magic bullets don’t exist.  you’ll be wasting lots of time, energy, and money trying to find them (that’s what advertisers want, your money).  after awhile, you may just end up giving up altogether after the 15th diet.

the key is patience.  something society has forgotten about a long time ago.  can you delay instant gratification?  its not easy, especially considering we are programmed to do otherwise.  our friends do it, our family does it, our coworkers do it, our fellow consumers do it, and its plastered all over the internet and tv.  man, we sure got our work cut out for us. however, in order to grow, patience is an absolute must.  most of the time we spend on the plateau.  its rarely grandiose and epic when breakthroughs happen, it usually comes through patience and things slowllly start to click and trickle in.  don’t get it?  patience, my friend.  it will come 😉

Life

The power of authenticity

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“Always be yourself, express yourself, have faith in yourself, do not go out and look for a successful personality and duplicate it.” – Bruce Lee

Do you know anybody in your life who is just really weird? Or has these interesting quirks and nuances about him/her that society would find odd, and yet you can’t help but love them for it?  Do you know why?  Its because they are being authentic.  Truly, and completely authentic.

When I look at a lot of my closest friends, I realize it has far less to do with us living close to each other, or having a lot of commonalities, or sharing the same beliefs.  It has far more to do with the fact that they are all really authentic people.  Its the times when we become inauthentic do people start to see right through it.

Last Sunday I was invited to a dinner party at the very last minute.  Old friends from school, some I hadn’t seen in over 2 years.  So I showed up and there were a few people that I didn’t particularly care to see because I wasn’t really close to them, and there were a few people who I was very excited to see.  One of my close friends, who I didn’t know was going to be there, showed up after I did.  He looked at me with a wtf I didn’t know you were going to be here look and brushed me off.  He put on his “identity mask” as I like to call it.  I didn’t take it personally because I knew it had nothing to do with me.  But just realize, and observe yourself when you put on these masks.  It happens to us all, so be completely honest with yourself that you are doing it.  Its ok, but try not to lose your authenticity when that happens.  You will be glad you took the mask off.

Life

Forgiveness is a beautiful thing.

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“To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness.” – Robert Muller

I have been doing a A Course in Miracles: Combined Volume for about 5 months now (highly recommended) and one of the really beautiful and brilliant insights about it is looking at God in a different light.  It can be a touchy subject but the way a Course in Miracles talks about it just seems to vibe right.  Anyway, one of the things it mentions is that God does not forgive you.  What’s that you say? No forgiveness from the almighty?!!! That is correct.  God does not forgive you because God never judged you, so there is nothing to forgive.  Woahhhhhhh, trippy.

Humans, on the other hand, like to judge everything.  It helps us survive by categorizing stuff.  I think a lot of people go way overboard with judgment, and that’s when feelings can get hurt.  can you forgive them for judging you?  usually, their judgment has nothing to do with you, it usually has everything to do with them and their issues.  can you forgive your boss, your friends and family for any wrongdoings you may think they have done to you?  most importantly, can you forgive YOURSELF?  that one is hard for many people, including myself.  you truly are your own worst critic, but if you can cultivate the attitude of forgiveness and realize that you are allowed to make mistakes then peace and happiness and abundance will flow through you.  give yourself permission, right now, to not be perfect and to make mistakes.  do it, its Marty approved.