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Goals, Life, Me

2016 – A little lonely and a little lost

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“Fuck…”

“I can’t take this anymore…”

“Somethings gotta change…”

That was me 3 weeks ago. I was at my wits end. It felt like I was suffocating. What I was doing for the majority of the year wasn’t working and I knew it. I was overworked, ineffective, and unhappy. Basically, everything I didn’t want in my life. So I bailed… on almost everything.

It felt like I just chopped off one of my arms. But it was swift. Painful but swift. I closed 4 of my websites for good. I emailed my customers telling them I was closing up shop and gave them enough time to export and backup their data. And I cried a little. And I may have pooped in my pants. I can’t remember.

2016 was a lot like 2015 in many ways… it went a lot harder than I thought it would. If you were to read my 2015 update you could almost update the year from 2015 to 2016 and you’d almost be correct. It was much worse in many ways. But there’s only so many ways I can write I had a shitty year without sounding repetitive and like I’m feeling sorry for myself. There were some differences, obviously. It’s not like the movie Groundhog Day where I was living the same shitty day over and over.

But I think in terms of my social life, my hobbies, my sleep, it was all very similar and my mid-year update covered it pretty well.

Since the mid-year update, not much has changed except a few things worth noting. In August I began a four-month bulk that resulted in me gaining over 30 pounds. The really crazy part to me was about 2 months into the bulk, I was already over 35 pounds and far too fat. So I had to actually make some adjustments and ended up at 168 lbs. At one point I was over 170 lbs, which was crazy to me. All prior attempts at putting on weight never put me over 160, let alone 170. While I’m happy that I was able to put on that much weight in such a short amount of time, I will never attempt to do it like this ever again. I look and feel disgusting. I’ve got a huge gut, feel much more lethargic, and have a crazy amount of bacne and random skin rashes that refuse to go away. I also don’t have any clothes that fit me properly. So now I have to start cutting out the fat while maintaining the muscle I gained. Theoretically, it shouldn’t be too hard. Eat a little bit less while keeping the protein relatively high, and increase my energy expenditure (more exercise, more daily movement, more activity). Let’s hope it doesn’t get too difficult. I don’t foresee it being too bad but if my track record for everything else in my life is any indication, I’m probably way off.

The neck pinch I had in July resulted in another MRI scan of my neck. The results possibly explained the tingling and numbness I had in my arms and hands and fingers. 5 of 7 of the discs in my neck are bulging, 2 somewhat seriously with stenosis to boot. Yay, me. BJJ, one of my favourite hobbies, has been difficult. I’d spar with some people and my neck would be sore for a week. So I haven’t been going very often, unfortunately, which makes me sadface.

Productivity and learning really started to take off in the last quarter of the year. I was learning a shitload and getting a lot done. I spent a lot of money buying software and online courses to further my education. It was as if I was subconsciously building up a war chest of business software and upgrading my brain because of the coming fallout that my subconscious inevitably knew was coming.

I was disappointed in how I handled some important things this year, especially in business. I was overconfident in thinking I could do it all. Way too much hubris. But I didn’t know what to do and had nobody to turn to. I felt lonely. One of my best friends moved away in February. Another decided to bail on a business we were working on together. Another moved away in August. And my Grandma passed away in July. That one gutted me and still fucks with me. All in all, I felt lost, lonely, and unsure of what to do. I bought an online business because why not. I started dating again around that time because why not x2. They were all missteps that if I just took a second to think it through I would realize how bad the decisions were. I was adding gasoline to an already full tank. I was just overflowing, and scatter-brain, and unfocused. I was like a frog in a pot of water about to boil. It was around September that I was reaching the boiling point. And by December…pop.

But here’s why I’m not worried…

I watched the UFC last night – Rousey vs Nunes. I was wrong about both main events. Two of my favourite fighters lost, and one of them got murked. And then this morning all I could see were memes mocking Rousey for her loss. And I was reminded of something I already knew. People who make memes about women getting beat up just aren’t part of my tribe. I don’t even know how to associate with that or them on that level. But people who work their asses off day in and day out, who try their best and still come up short from time to time but who aren’t afraid to put in the work and keep going…shit…that…THAT is my fam. That I can relate to. All. Damn. Day.

This is Dominic Cruz after his loss. Listen to this shit. I had it re-running for 20 minutes straight so it could seep into my thick skull. The most dominant bantamweight in history just lost for the first time in 9 years yet his perspective is unexpected and inspiring.

 

Story time…. I haven’t told this one to anybody because it’s a little sappy and weird…

I went to visit my old stomping grounds earlier in the year. I went to say hi to some cafe owners I hadn’t seen in a few years – a brother and sister run business. I had gotten to know them over the years and found out a lot about them. Prior to the cafe, they ran a number of businesses – night clubs and restaurants, so naturally they’ve met a lot of people over the years. Anyway, when we were catching up they gave me a lot of life tips, wisdom and words of encouragement and fed me for free until I was stuffed to the gills. As I was about to leave the sister said something that really stuck with me. She kind of sat me down and looked me in the eyes, and in the most sincerest way I’ve ever seen she said I was special. That I was different and unique from anybody she’s come across throughout the years of running businesses and meeting thousands of people. I laughed awkwardly and looked over at her brother to see if she was fucking with me. His eyes were glued on me and nodding at everything she was saying. Then she said something along the lines of “Maybe the world doesn’t see it yet, but they will. How you will show this to the world is yet to be known.” It was so surreal and corny but still sends chills down my spine and something I think about regularly.

Oh, 2016… what a strange year. I made some bad choices, true. But I gained invaluable experience and wisdom. Nothing that I could get from a book or a classroom. I found limits in what I could do, how much I could juggle, and did things I didn’t think I could do. Putting on so much weight was a real eye opener for me. I’ve never been able to do that ever before in all prior attempts. And to do it so quickly, too. Sure, my businesses failed. But the feedback and encouragement from users has been amazing. For some projects, I was able to sell off the assets. For others, I walked away from bad deals after weeks of negotiation. And my skillsets really expanded. Realistically speaking, I’m capable of handling so much more. More pressure, more heartaches and headaches. And the only way to really find your limits is to try to push them.

2017 will be interesting. I have lots to apply and learn and my work is cut out for me. But it’s an exciting time. I hope I can make at least 1 business profitable – either mine or somebody else’s. I hope my cut goes well and I see my abs again. I hope I’ll be able to do a little bit of travel, perhaps in the spring or fall. I hope I’ll be able to connect with more of my tribe, maybe through teaching or joining some meetups. I hope to improve my Spanish. But, we’ll see. The last 4 years haven’t gone nearly as I’d imagined so I don’t really have any expectation that 2017 will be any different. Still, I am excited in the possibilities of what lies ahead. Happy new year and I hope you had a good one and an even better 2017.

Habits

Consistently Consistent

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The single biggest bang for your buck in terms of results is consistency. It is boring and unsexy compared to magic bullets and one shots of awesomeness, but consistency works, plain and simple. I don’t think you’d find a successful person in the world who encourages people to be wildly inconsistent, except perhaps to spark creativity, to break negative habits, and to discover new things. And only for short periods of time.

Consistently doing bad things will lead to further bad things, and consistently doing good things will lead to further good things. Consistency forms habits (and habits are good and bad). Want to start becoming more awesome at something? Figure out what works, then be very consistent in doing that thing. Want to stop? Then become inconsistent at doing that thing.

Want to get good at arm bars? Find out how to do them properly, then do them. Lots of them. Every day. Consistently.

Want to get better at bouldering? Boulder. A lot. Consistently.

Want to get good at x? Find out the best way to do x, then do it. A lot. Consistently. Every day might be too much (if recovery is an issue, or if money is an issue, or time is an issue, or x is an issue). Doesn’t matter, do it at a pace you can do it at, at a schedule you can reasonably do it at. Push too hard, and it’s unsustainable. Push too light, and you won’t see the results as quickly if at all.

Consistency is not a guarantee for success (especially if you are consistently doing something incorrectly), but it is a good bet. In other words, consistency is necessary but not sufficient for success. The opposite is not also true. That is, it is virtually guaranteed that not doing something consistently will bring you results on par with not doing that thing at all.

So how do you know if you’re doing the right thing consistently? Well, that’s a bit tougher. Sometimes, it’s obvious and getting into the minutiae is unnecessary. Want to lose weight? Eat less. Forget about what you should eat, when you should eat it, and how many meals you should eat. You will know when its time to think about those things. For many, getting started is the hard part, so keeping it simple is the easiest way to start and stay at it consistently. Other times, figuring out the right thing is tough. You could ask people. If 100 people tell you to do it a certain way, it’s either conventional wisdom because it’s the correct thing to do or because nobody bothered to challenge it (one is good, one is terrible). You’ll have to decide based on gut feel what to do here. If you get 100 completely different answers, you are in “nobody knows what the eff they are talking about” territory. In that case, ignore everybody, and explore for yourself.

Usually the hardest part is just starting. That’s why I’m a fan of just doing it, observe (and measure!) obsessively, and make corrections as you go. Is P90X better than Insanity is better than blah blah blah… Stop, just stop…. If starting is the hardest part for you, then the just do it approach is a great one. If starting is not the hardest part, then I’d go with front loading the work and doing the hard and boring stuff first, like finding the right material, figuring out the annoying little details, and other deep research like you are some mad scientist with crazy hair, weird mannerisms and bad hygiene (but I’m willing to bet starting is the tough part).

Once that’s out of the way, be consistently consistent. Ready? Ok, go!

Goals

Focus on Process, Not Outcome

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I forget this one all the time, so I am writing it down here so I can come back and read it from time to time, then bitchslap myself for forgetting again. Too often we focus far too much of our desires on the shiny object at the end of the road, running past everything so quickly that we don’t even get to stop and smell the flowers. That sucks, and it’s unfortunately ingrained in our culture. Having an end goal in mind isn’t necessarily bad (although some argue that it is), but a dogged fixation on it isn’t the healthiest thing for you.

A better alternative is to focus on the process. Let’s go with a few examples. I’ll take them from my life since they are salient in my mind and important to me.

1. I want to learn Spanish. So what’s the desired outcome? Well, I’d like to be fluent and have conversations with people and understand what people are saying. While some people suggest moving to a Spanish-speaking country and immediately start speaking with the locals, that is a tad bit extreme for me. Instead, I use memrise and duolingo. The process is simple. I wake up, enjoy a cup of coffee, and I do my lessons. Everyday. That’s it. Am I moving forward toward my outcome? Yes, most days. Some days, a lesson will totally mess me up and it’ll feel like I just stumbled back a couple of steps. Duolingo especially drives me nuts. Sometimes I just want to put my fist through the monitor. Then I have to remind myself to focus on the process, not the outcome. Just show up and do the lesson. Sometimes I’ll fail the lesson and sometimes I’ll succeed. But there is no question I am better at Spanish now then I was a month ago.

2. I want to get stronger. I want absolute strength but relative strength is more important to me (two people who can deadlift

English: A Strongman exercise: the Deadlift. P...
English: A Strongman exercise: the Deadlift. Polski: Konkurencja zawodów siłaczy: Martwy ciąg. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

500lbs have the same absolute strength for the deadlift, but the lighter person has a better strength to weight ratio and thus is relatively stronger). I’d like to pull 400lbs off of the ground by the end of the year, but trying to pull that weight now would potentially injure me so I’m not even going to bother. Instead, all I can do is show up on deadlift day. I like to use a mental checklist. A checklist written down is even better. Did I get enough sleep? Check. Have I been keeping my stress levels down? Check. Did I eat well this week? Check. Am I excited for my workout? Hell yes check. And here again, sometimes I’ll fail to pull what I put on the barbell and sometimes I’ll succeed. But again, by focusing on the process there is no question I am stronger this month then I was last month. Maybe I’ll reach 400 by years end, and maybe I won’t. By focusing on the process, it is irrelevant. I did what I could every step of the way.

I could go on with examples ad infinity. Focusing on the process instead of the outcome applies everywhere. Career aspirations? Focus on the process: Have you been updating your skills? Networking? Fine tuning your résumé and cover letter? Gotten really specific on exactly what you want, including salary, position, company, benefits, department, logistics, commute, and so on? Did you honestly do everything that you could do to move yourself toward the desired outcome to the best of your ability? If so, the rest simply doesn’t matter because it’ll come. It might not come at the speed that you want it. And it might not be the exact outcome you were going for. But the sheer fact that you put one foot in front of the other and moved towards something opens up entire worlds that were not possible when you started.

Let go of the outcome. It’s healthier that way. And take your own advice, Wong.

 

 

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Me

The year of the FAIL. A look back. And forward.

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Failed projects. Failed relationships. Rejection letters. More FML moments than I care to admit. Mugged in my investments. Brick walled in my career. Death of friends. Stolen identities and hacked accounts. I look around and see broken glass everywhere, and I can’t help but smile. In a year of more failure than I can shake a stick at, I’m on the right track. As Tyler Durden would say, self improvement is masturbation, but self destruction…

In a year where I’ve had money stolen from me, lent money out that I’ll never see again, and money that I’m still chasing down, I feel great. Shady business dealings, bad business partners, treachery, backstabbery, betrayal. I’ve bled more for sure, but I’m better off for it. Stronger, wiser, smarter. I definitely didn’t leave this year unscathed, but battle scars make character. And character makes men. But all was not evil and terrible. I invested significantly in myself, spending thousands on genetics testing for me and my family. I climbed one of the world’s largest free standing structures. Against 12,000 others, not feeling 100% and without any running or stair training, I probably had a top 5/10 fastest time. Now that’s street. Should I ever decide to climb the tower again, I’m gunning for the fastest time. I wrote the GMAT, and unlike some others who spend thousands on courses and books and study for months on end, I borrowed some books, downloaded some content, crammed for a month and scored in the 95th percentile. Street. I had the absolute honour to listen to Al Gore talk about something that is near and dear to my heart: Climate change. I had the pleasure to hear Bill Clinton talk about other subjects dear to my heart: Giving, poverty, overpopulation, and health care. I spent an entire weekend with the best performance coach in the world in Tony Robbins, who not only made me walk on blazing hot 1000+ degree Celsius coals in my bare feet, but lit a fire under my ass. And of course, I did some travelling, met some super cool people, and made some new friends. Hiked a trail wearing barefoot shoes, getting altitude sickness but refusing to take pills, in one rewarding adventure. Good times, good times. And I challenged many of my beliefs. I flip flopped back and forth about some things and I’m sure I’ll continue to do so. I’m a lot more thick skinned, a lot less idealistic. My bullshit detector is more highly fine tuned. I have much better control over my emotions and no longer worry about things that are outside of my circle of influence (except I do, as you’ll see below). I’m much better at not overestimating the competition and underestimating myself. I also got into a lot of interesting topics including genetics, survivalism, health, fitness, nutrition, and so on.

Most people quit too early. My problem is I don’t know when to quit. That’s why I stay on a rock climbing wall for hours on end, hands shredded to a bloody mess, but I finish. That’s why I workout 6, 7, 8, 9 times a week and haven’t missed a beat since May because the calendar says so. But it’s also why I stay in relationships that are harmful to both parties, why I can’t get up from a movie even if it’s terrible, why I finish my plate even if I’m super stuffed and why I have a hard time putting down a crappy book. I hate quitting. My hatred of quitting got me through university, but it also has kept me at a job I lost the passion for. This is an important skill that I need to work on. When to stick it out and when to abandon ship when the potential return on investment just isn’t worth it. Persistence isn’t the problem for me, quitting is. Some things that I’ve pondered about this year include the following:

To blog or not to blog
My love/hate relationship with blogging continues. This is because I’m of the firm belief that if you can’t do something right, then don’t do it. And I really don’t do this right, since it’s on a low list of priorities for me. But Gary Vaynerchuk convinced me to keep at it, if only to preserve my brand. If you think about it, your entire life is being recorded on the internet, so you may as well embrace it. One day, your children’s children will see your trail. What kind of legacy do you want to leave?

Single or get in a relationship
I prefer being single. My best thoughts, my best ideas, my most creative moments are when I’m alone. There is a difference between loneliness and aloneness. For those feeling lonely, there is a road to actualization that needs to be walked first, otherwise even in a relationship something will always be missing. The disadvantage of being single is you don’t get sexy time. But I would argue that neither do people in marriages and long term relationships, so eat it! The advantages are plenty. More focus, more money (yes I said it!), more free time, less responsibility and accountability to others. This allows you to be lean, mean, and hungry as all hell. Obviously I don’t intend on staying single forever, but right now it’s the best thing for me without a doubt.

Organic vs. Non organic foods
I’ve been eating organic foods for years now, and to be honest I believe it’s overrated and overpriced. It isn’t nutritionally superior, nor does it taste better despite what organic eaters preach. Blind taste tests will show this (and have). Just like 99% of wine drinkers can’t tell the difference between a good wine and bad wine, people can’t tell the difference between organic and non organic foods. It tastes better because they THINK it tastes better. As for no pesticides, that is incorrect. Better for the environment? Not if you consider the sheer volume of land that needs to be used over non organic for the same output (good luck feeding the planet with that). Is organic truly organic? As a multibillion dollar industry, you’re damn right big agra is on this money train and are cutting every corner imaginable and doing just enough to get an organic certification. Did you know that 20% of our organic produce comes from CHINA (no offense to my people)?! Even still, I support our local farmers and will continue to eat organic foods, because overall I believe it is better than the alternatives. However, organic foods aren’t going to feed the planet, genetically modified foods are. It is a LUXURY for me to even have the choice to choose between the two, most people are not so fortunate.

Climate change – man made or natural?
I think it’s safe to say that climate change is happening (or not). The question then becomes, are we causing it? And man, I’ve spent more hours on this then I’m willing to admit, and I can tell you whole heartedly that I do not know. I can also say that Al Gore isn’t the saint that people are preaching him to be (he is making a lot of cheddar on this), but at the very same time I support the man and what he’s doing. “WTF, make up your damn mind!” you say? The reason is simple; we are terribly inefficient with energy. In Ontario, where I live, our power infrastructure is aging, and if we don’t find some alternatives soon there is going to be some serious implications. I’m all for more efficiency and effectiveness, because I don’t want to hear stories about families freezing to death in the cold because of lack of power. But it’s not easy to come up with these solutions. Ethanol fuel, for example, is not a good alternative energy because it takes a lot more energy and land to make and isn’t worth the hassle. Nuclear? Takes a wicked long time, a lot of energy, is terribly expensive and very complicated. Tidal? Only good on the coast lines. Clean coal? No such thing. What about solar and wind? Yes! But they have problems of their own. How are we going to provide energy for all of us? Which leads me to my next thought…

Overpopulation – to have a kid or not
There’s simply too many of us, consuming too much, too quickly. Our population is reaching 7 billion. 40 years ago it was less than half of that. Think about that for a second. Our population increased to the same amount in your parents lifetime in what previously took thousands of years. We are in the middle of a population explosion. Infinite growth, FINITE resources. How do we feed all these people? That’s why I have reservations of bringing a child into this world, even though I’ve always wanted to. I don’t want my kid growing up in an overcrowded world, and unless we come up with some solutions, that’s exactly what is going to be happen. I’m giving myself 15 years, and if we can’t make a crack at this then no kid for me.

Peak oil is mad sheisse…
We are too dependent on oil. Look around you, from the screen you are reading this on to the clothes you are wearing to the food you are eating, oil played a huge roll in its production. This is another reason I support Gore, we need alternatives. You are going to hear about the term ‘peak oil’ a lot more in the coming years. We are reaching the capacities of how much we are pulling from the Earth, which means, we are running the eff out. As population increases and oil quantity decreases, people are going to die. A lot of people. IF nothing gets done.

Vegetarianism no more
Vegetarians are misinformed. There’s no other way to put it. It CAN be healthier than the typical North American diet, but it’s not the healthiest. It is better for the environment than normal factory farmed foods, but it isn’t going to save the planet. Is it morally superior? Not if you consider the destruction of entire ecosystems for growing the crops. What about all those wild animals that no longer have food or homes, are they not sentient beings? I don’t have the answers here. I know our food industry is fucked. And I am completely and utterly disgusted by the cruel treatment of animals in CAFOs. Yes, I know it’s brutal, but vegetarianism isn’t the answer. It’s when I realized this that I made the switch back to (mostly clean) meat, and I am glad I did. Bigger, stronger, faster, happier and healthier.

Evolution and genetics versus Creationists and God
The science tells me that evolution is right, and creationism is wrong. I believe in evolution, right down to my diet and how our ancestors ate. And I believe our genetics have a role in how we are and what we become, and by optimizing health and nutrition we can optimize our gene expression. But I don’t think genetics predetermines our destiny, and I don’t believe we were created by the will of God. And yet, I still believe in God. I don’t have a logical explanation for this nor would I want to get into a debate with Christopher Hitchens about it; it really is purely blind faith. I don’t think we were divinely created nor are divinely observed/controlled/whatever, but where else am I going to get my source of strength to press on if shit really does hit the fan? Or if I’m skydiving and my parachute doesn’t open, or I’m jailed in a concentration camp or held at gunpoint, or my best friend is dying of a terminally ill disease, or some other unlikely event I have no control over? I can look within, but I can certainly look beyond as well. One thing that I don’t really understand about evolution is the idea of natural selection, Darwin’s greatest contribution. If natural selection helps the preservation of a species by improving genetic traits, how come humans are getting oh so stupid? How is that contributing to our survival? I need to speak with Richard Dawkins on this one (almost done his EXCELLENT new book).

The end is not near.
Yes, I’ve been learning more primitive skills and reconnecting with the outdoors. And I’ve been exercising like a fiend not to get bigger muscles, a six pack (though I must admit they are nice side benefits) and to look better but rather to BE better. To be more and need less, that’s my journey. As 50 Cent would say, to Get Rich or Die Trying. In my case, when I talk about getting rich, I’m not (only) talking about money. I honestly don’t believe disaster will come. Certainly not on December 21st, 2012 like some doomsayers say. And even if the Earth reaches a cataclysmic tipping point, and we get thrown into an ice age or massive earthquakes and tsunamis or World War 3 or hyper inflation causing economic meltdowns or a superflu or some other planetary destroying event(s), the human race will survive. Hell, if that little shit Frodo Baggins can save the world, then anything’s possible right? And you might be wondering, “Well what the hell can I do? I’m just a hobbit…err, human” there’s lots. Lots! If teaching is your thing, teach. If music is your thing, sing. If policing is your thing, protect. Do it so damn well that people won’t be able to picture you doing anything else. Problems in governments, in corporations, in society are plenty that’s for sure, but this will always be the case. There always were challenges and they were always overcome and there always will be challenges. What we need is a shift in human consciousness. But alas, it’s outside of my sphere of influence (for now…muahhaha). I think it’s an exciting time to be alive. I believe cancer and heart disease and AIDS will be cured in our lifetimes. I believe science will be good enough to let us live healthy lives well over 100 (I, for one, plan on living healthily until at least 150). And I’m not talking out of my ass on this. The science, medicine, and technology is happening in labs all over the world this very instant. As an individual and as a man, I cannot, in good conscience, continue down the path I was going. And so I’m not. Don’t worry about saving the world, worry about saving for retirement instead you overspending consumer whoring monkeys! Just be mindful that times are changing at a faster pace then ever before in human history, the ones who survive are the ones who can adapt. Newspapers are dead, the web made sure of that. Books are dead, Amazon made sure of that. That’s why old people suck (I love blanket statements). They are stuck in their ways. Fluidity, impermanance, and formlessness, like a NINJA. That’s how we do!

A note about identities
Many people spend their entire lives trying to find their identity. Some people go to find themselves, whatever that means, but never really do. When something comes along that they resonate with, there is a tendency to cling on to it and refuse to let go. Don’t be a clinger. There are a lot of survivalists who really think the end of the world is coming. Vegetarians and organic eaters have an elitist attitude. PETA, Greenpeace, and a whole whackload of others are terribly, terribly misinformed, slow the progress of the very science that can save exactly what they are fighting for, and do more harm than good. Tony Robbins runs a cult. He does, if you see what he does and suggests you do in person it is exactly that. Cult mentality. I still think he’s a pimp, but my identity isn’t wrapped up in it. Same with fitness, I believe in a certain type of workout and diet that makes sense to me, but I don’t identify it as being me. I don’t see that very often, usually I see the opposite. Then, when something comes along that shakes up his/her worldview, all hell breaks loose. Don’t let that happen to you. Don’t be a joiner. Its noble to try and save the world, but really understand what you are doing before actually doing it. What are you saving it from? People want to be a part of something, to connect, to be a part of a community and a tribe. This is evolution at work, this is how we survived. But times are different now. How absolutely rude and insensitive are you do criticize obese people because you lost some weight and are now part of the get fit tribe? Elitist. There are a lot of sharks out there trying to sell you snake oil. Some of these sharks have really nice boobs and wear miniskirts. Others, like Dr. Phil, think they can dissect and solve your life problems after meeting you for 5 minutes in front of millions of people who then proceed to praise him like a god. The Vatican, Monsanto, Google, these giants are not saintly, but they aren’t completely evil either. We are smarter than that. Just use that noggin of yours, put that fragile ego down, and go into the new year understanding that you are not your car, your job, what you believe in, and stop with the hero worship and herd mentality. That alone can take you very far.

A message to my friends and family
They say we are the average of our 5 closest friends. And therefore, for me to be better, I need YOU to be better. When I push you, it’s not just because I get a smile when you step up and prove me wrong, it’s also for my own selfishness. I can’t do this on my own. I need all of you more than you will understand. I know I’m a little unstable. I know I can be ridiculously unreasonable sometimes, but this is only because I despise second class behaviour in myself, and the people I choose to associate myself with. No snivelling, no whining, none of that garbage, it goes straight to autoignore. I know I drive you guys crazy sometimes (especially my family). And I’d like to say there’s a method to my madness, and there is. I just haven’t figured out what that is yet 😛 Your loyalty astounds me and I’m at your greatest honour. If I were you I wouldn’t be putting up with my shit, but you do. So thanks and stuff. *eHug*. Onwards, to a new year! Today, is the last day of the decade, adventure waits on the other side!

Influences this year include:
Bloggers: Ramit Sethi, Seth Godin, Tim Ferris, Derek Sivers, Mark Sisson, Leo Babauta

Books: The Primal Blueprint, The Vegetarian Myth, Born to Run, Emergency, A Whole New Mind, Power of Less, I Will Teach You To Be Rich, Crush It, Ignore Everybody, The Paradox of Choice, The 4-Hour Workweek Expanded Edition, The Greatest Show on Earth, Blue Zones

Film: Food Inc, The World According to Monsanto, Collapse, Collision, A Crude Awakening, The Corporation, Fat Head, The Fog of War, King Corn, The Age of Stupid

Other: The Story of Stuff, TED.com, Penn and Teller’s Bullshit, Weston Price Foundation, Toronto Survivalism Group, The P.I.N.E Project, Beachbody

Life

Lifestyle experiments: A great way to challenge yourself

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What are lifestyle experiments? They are like 30 day challenges you give to yourself to help give you some insight on something or to help form a new habit. They take you out of your comfort zone and usually help break some bad habits. Lifestyle experiments should be fun and challenging and should be in alignment with your life goals. Here are a few that I am starting or have recently started. If you are new to this I would recommend starting out with only 1 challenge at a time.

Lifestyle experiment #1 – No disposable garbage such a coffee cups, take out containers, etc. This one will be very tough for me, but I realized how much disposable garbage I’ve been using because its convenient to do so. At lunch I grab things on the go when I’m busy at work and this will have to stop. I especially like the vegetarian soups across the street from my work, but they don’t come in bowls, only takeout styrofoam containers. I won’t be able to get any Tim Horton’s or Starbucks unless I bring my own container, either. Plus there are numerous other places I go to grab food on the go around my office that I won’t be able to any longer. This will be a challenge, and I don’t know if I’ll succeed. But I’ll try and by the end of it I’ll be confident that I’ll have reduced my consumption of these wasteful products significantly.

Reason for doing lifestyle experiment #1 – to further reduce my ecological footprint on this planet, one of my lifelong goals.

Lifestyle experiment #2 – Get rid of cellphone. I don’t really need it. There aren’t that many people that call me anymore. In all my years of owning a cellphone, I have only ever received 1 emergency phone call. I’ve been really thinking about this one and I think I’ve fallen in the trap of owning a cell phone for the sake of owning one, when in fact I’m not really getting what I pay out of it. Most people with their fancy phones don’t actually need a fancy phone, and they find excuses to buy one rather than legitimately needing one (like for work). Its a very terrible mindset in my opinion. Its like paying for a gym membership and not going to the gym. I’ve got email, I’ve got Skype, I’ve got IM, so if anybody wants to get in touch with me they can do so through those mediums.  I won’t bring my cellphone to work and I’ll keep it on silent when I’m at home to eliminate distractions.  This experiment shouldn’t be too difficult,  I literally get more wrong numbers and telemarketers calling me then people who actually are looking to speak to me. If after 30 days the cellphone experiment is a success I’ll likely reduce to pay as you go and only turn it on when I need to make a phone call and I’m not near my computer (like if I’m out and meeting a friend).

Reason for doing lifestyle experiment #2 – Cost cutting. Part of my trimming the fat and of living a simpler life.

Lifestyle experiment #3 – Stronger eye contact with strangers. I tend to not look at strangers. I think that’s a shame because strangers are only strangers because you haven’t met them yet! And you don’t stand a chance of meeting them if you never look at them. I started this habit of not looking at people living in Toronto when I noticed that if you look at a homeless person in the eyes they’ll tend to always ask you for money. However, if you don’t you have a better chance of not being asked or pretending to ignore them. Torontonians do this a lot and I picked it up. Then for some reason it generalized and I avoided everybody’s eye contact. I plan on not avoiding on contact for 30 days, including the homeless without staring at people creepily. This shouldn’t be too bad, because I have tried this before and noticed that people don’t recognize you because they aren’t looking or will smile at you or the occasional guy who tries to outstare you.

Reason for doing lifestyle experiment #3 – Purely for fun.  Who knows, might make a friend or two!

If I cheat or fail, I’ll post the updates on Twitter. http://twitter.com/landland

Get started on some of your lifestyle experiments today!

Life

finding time by organizing your priorities

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Somebody recently asked me when I actually sleep. With all the things going on in my life at the moment I still had time to hang out and have brunch with her and told her all of the movies I’ve been watching. Its actually pretty simple, its all about setting up your priorities.

High on my list of priorities are my friends. I don’t have many that I see frequently these days, so when I get a phone call or an email saying one is going to be in town and want to go for brunch or hang out, of course I’ll say yes. Unless I have an absolutely immovable meeting or am booked solid, I try my darndest to say yes to meet up. It just means I have to shift something else around and reset some of my priorities.

If its important to you, you’ll find time for it. That’s just how it is. There is always time for the things that are important to you. If you don’t have time for it, it means it isn’t important to you, simple as that. When somebody tells you they don’t have time to see you, that just means you’re not as important to them as something else at the moment, lol. Finding time can be a challenge if you’re extremely busy, but it isn’t impossible. If you commute at any part of your day (most people do), that is a great time to listen to those language courses to learn that language you’ve always wanted to learn. Or going for a run during your lunch break and eating at your desk for those pressed to finding time for a healthy workout.

Idle TV or news reading time can be eliminated if TV or news isn’t high on your priority (I hope TV isn’t). Things that should be high on everybody’s priority list should include stuff you enjoy like your hobbies and passions, your health, your work (yes, your work quality is a reflection of your drive to succeed and commitment to others), your friends and family, that sort of thing. So what is important to you? Put those things at the top of your priority list. What isn’t important to you? Those things should go at the bottom. If you find that your job isn’t very important to you, then you should probably look for a career change. If you find that video games is high on your list, hopefully your balancing that with something important that is also high on your list, like saving the whales or something.

A good time of day to get a lot of your tasks out of the way is as soon as you get up. You’ll notice that if you knock off some of your higher priority items as soon as you get up, you’ll have a great feeling of accomplishment and the rest of your day will be more enjoyable. Before you go to bed, plan ahead and prioritize some of the important tasks you have to do the next day. Its about being productive, doing things effectively and efficiently, and being smart with your time. You can’t do everything, but you sure as heck can do a lot if you prioritize and act. I actually sleep pretty well, its high on my priority list 🙂

Life, Me

Fall Hard in order to Fly…

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I hope you all had a great 2008. 2009 looks like it will be a difficult year, according to economists, but with tough times comes GLORIOUS opportunities. To steal a direct quote from Tim Ferriss’ blog:

To bring in a wonderful 2009, I’d like to quote from an email I received today from a mentor of more than a decade:

While many are wringing their hands, I recall the 1970s when we were suffering from an oil shock causing long lines at gas stations, rationing, and 55 MPH speed limits on Federal highways, a recession, very little venture capital ($50 million per year into VC firms), and, what President Jimmy Carter (wearing a sweater while addressing the Nation on TV because he had turned down the heat in the White House) called a “malaise”. It was during those times that two kids without any real college education, Bill Gates and Steve Jobs, started companies that did pretty well. Opportunities abound in bad times as well as good times. In fact, the opportunities are often greater when the conventional wisdom is that everything is going into the toilet.

Well…we’re nearing the end of another great year, and, despite what we read about the outlook for 2009, we can look forward to a New Year filled with opportunities as well as stimulating challenges.

That’s right, keep an open mind and aim high, and look out for the opportunities to present themselves. But you have to know that you will, at one time or another, fall. You will fail and it will suck and there will be self doubt, but you have to keep going. You have to muster up the courage to try again. Last month I was catching up with a friend I hadn’t seen in about a year. She mentioned to me that she doesn’t know what it feels like to fail, because she has always succeeded at everything she has done. Oh, poor soul, I thought. Wait, just wait, it will come. The older you get going through life without failing, the more it will hurt when it happens and the less you’ll know on how to deal with it. And it will happen. Take your licks now, because that is how you grow. Or you can shrivel away, and avoid life, and become a peon. Its up to you.

Last year I started something in late spring I called Project Social. What an epic failure. I started out as a nightclub promoter and lasted all of three nights. Yes, three! It wasn’t because I wasn’t good at it, it just felt like work. Going up to pretty girls making sure they are having a good time and getting free drinks all night sounds like a lot of fun, but it wasn’t jiving with me. I felt pressure to succeed and the whole point of Project Social was to have more fun. So I stopped. There’s nothing wrong with calling it quits when something isn’t serving you and your life ambition. Plus the promoter I was working for was not somebody I would conduct business with again, but we’ll leave it at that.

The City Bee is live now, and to be honest I have no idea how its going to do. It could be a fiery ball of doom for all I know, but I had to try. Obstacles came up, lots of them, but I barrelled through them with the help of my talented partners. Some things didn’t turn out exactly as planned, but I made workarounds and compromised with my partners. The website itself is not something I am entirely interested in at this point in my life, but I bet it has the potential to bring tremendous value to many people out there. But who knows, maybe it was all a big mistake. And I am ok with that. The journey to create it has been incredible. I built a website from the ground up. It was a conversation with a dear friend over dinner and drinks and turned into something real in a matter of 3 months. How cool is that? There are still things I’m learning about what I need to do. I had to take a few steps back in order to make a few steps forward. My partners don’t really have any idea the type of work I had to put into it to make it the way it is, and I’m ok with that. I’m not doing it for glory, I’m doing it to learn. And learn I have. From that knowledge, I’ve got something special coming down the pipe. Super excited but for now I have to remain hush on it. Time is my biggest enemy here. Juggling priorities is my most difficult issue at the moment. Right now I have a big fat issue I have been neglecting for far too long; the GMAT. Its now or never so I am going full deluxe overdrive mode for the next little while. Who knows, maybe it will be a miserable failure. That’s cool, bring it on.

“It was great just watching you, every day was like a privilige. Then the time come for you to be your own man and take on the world, and you did. But somewhere along the line, you changed. You stopped being you. You let people stick a finger in your face and tell you you’re no good. And when things got hard, you started looking for something to blame, like a big shadow. Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place and I don’t care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard ya hit. It’s about how hard you can get it and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done! Now if you know what you’re worth then go out and get what you’re worth. But ya gotta be willing to take the hits, and not pointing fingers saying you ain’t where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody! Cowards do that and that ain’t you! You’re better than that!” – Rocky Balboa