Things aren’t going as planned.  I’ve been struggling these days to keep things balanced, prioritizing items, and not letting myself get in my way.  There’s a ton I want to do/write around here but right now I am struggling to find the time to do so.

I’ve been wanting to put in a commenting system here that really kicks butt.  There are two that are competing for my attention and I am keeping a close eye on both.  They are disqus and intense debate.  Both are really cool but neither stands out above the other.  Both have a lot to offer but neither are really above what I have already in place to justify the switch.  The cool thing about both is that they are integrating with social networks and the like (what isn’t nowadays) so that your comments can “follow” you as you go around the net.  Both are super cool and have tons of potential but I am waiting on some maturity before I make a decision.  Probably won’t be happening for a while.

I’m looking forward to the warmer weather.  I think my being locked in a cave, in all its anti-social glory, is starting to turn me into Jack Nicholson in The Shining.  The only people I see these days are my coworkers, and the only people I speak to are dissatisfied techies and my parents.  My only saving grace is rock climbing but I have had to defer that for a couple weeks because of the GMAT.  But the GMAT isn’t going nearly as smoothly as I projected.  I do great on some tests and I do so-so on others.  I need consistency before I do anything.  It sucks because I keep deferring and deferring and deferring and I might defer it past the deadline for Uni applications.  That wouldn’t be the end of the world, in fact that would probably be my preference but I don’t want to stay in my cave any longer!  I have a pile of books just waiting to be read.  I have vacations to plan, people to see, things to do.  My mind has been telling me “As soon as your done this thing man, BJJ, that’s what you are going to do.  5 days a week man!  You can do it!” and “Oh man your grip strength is incredible now, and you can do triple the amount of chinups you could do before without even breaking a sweat.  Now imagine if you had time to get in even more workouts.  Rock climbing machine!” and “These books, you have to read them.  There’s so much wisdom and knowledge to be applied.  Hurry man, you’re wasting away your time.  You aren’t young anymore!” and so on and so forth.  Can you imagine trying to study with all that racket?

Truth is, I am in no rush to back to school, so my mind needs to stfu.  But I do want to write this GMAT thing soon, just to get it over with.  How soon?  When I’m ready and not a moment before.  And yes, I am still young, I plan to live until I’m 150, and then by the time I’m 150 the medicine and technology during that time will let me live until I’m 1000.   😉  So I am doing just fine.  I’ll be missing some events here and there, like a trip to Boston, and some climbing, and some birthday parties.  But those are the breaks, and I’m fine with that.  I want to earn everything that comes to me, including the good and bad.

Lesson for today:  Tell your brain to shut up.  Then tell it you love it.