httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d6wRkzCW5qI
detach yourself from attachments
“The things you own end up owning you.” – Tyler Durden, Fight Club
One of my best buddies in the whole wide world asked me to stop teaching him stuff, in reference to all the awesome value I am bringing here on martywong.com. He then showed me his blackberry which just has a whackload of quotes he’s yanked to keep himself in check. Awesome, awesome. I’ll keep at it, I still have lots more awesomeness to bring.
Last lesson, i spoke of the abundance mentality. In it, I describe that instead of saving your money you should be spending it as that is what a person with wealth abundance would do. However, that is probably not the greatest advice for most people in North America. I don’t remember where I heard this, but North Americans, for the first time in our history, on average spend more then we save. In other words, we are in the negative when it comes to money on average. It blew my mind when I heard this. That’s the reason the economy is all poopy in the first place. Banks giving mortgages out to people who can’t pay them back, and these people buying houses that are out of their budgets and overpriced to begin with. Madness, absolute madness. Then bailouts, oh man worst idea ever. Its this short term thinking that has put things in the pooper in the first place. But I suppose, many people can’t help it. Brainwashed, literally brainwashed we are. Get that fancy car, the big house, that beautiful family, ah the American dream. When I speak of abundance, there is something else critical to that piece of the puzzle; detachment. Because when you become detached from material goods, and live life simply, you will find that the things you thought you wanted, you no longer want. When you detach yourself from outcome, there’s a tendency for the outcome that you were hoping for to naturally occur. And if it doesn’t, no sweat, because we come from abundance, got it?
Chances are, the things you think you need, you probably don’t. The things you thought you wanted, get pretty old after a while. That thing you got that made you happy, doesn’t make you happy anymore. How do I know? Because I’ve been there, done that. I once heard somebody say that you know you have found ultimate happiness when you are in an empty room by yourself and are at complete peace and serenity. I don’t know if that’s true or not, but I’d say that’s a good indication you no longer have any attachments. The most conscious people in our history all carried this detachment trait. Don’t be your average North American, don’t buy that fancy watch and feel guilty you bought it, knowing you could have spent it on something more useful. Buy that watch and enjoy it for what it is, a nice fancy watch. Pay attention though, if it brings you that temporary high, you’ve got some work to do. Let’s not spend recklessly and on unnecessary items, detach from material goods, detach from outcome, and live abundantly. We are not a sum total of our wealth and goods. We are so much more, if only we could see. Are you starting to see?
The Abundance Mentality… and how it can serve you
Today, the company I work for laid off some people, and sent out a note that we are a strong and awesome company (Read: they are going to lay more off). I’ve heard this tune before, too many times to be honest. I think this might be close to the 10th round of layoffs I’ve been a part of. I’ve seen people I was close to at work, gone the very next day. Today was no exception. Truthfully, I’ll probably never see most of these people ever again. First thing I did was when I heard these people were gone was say a little prayer to them at my desk; Trust that you will be ok, that’s all you need. There is already tons of chatter around the office this morning. People have panic in their eyes and I can’t help but empathize with them. Wow, how difficult it must be to be living a life trying to dodge bullets!
However, there is another way. Abundance. Come from that place, and you will never have to worry about finding a job. I guarantee myself that if I get laid off, I will take it to the next level. There is no doubt in my mind. It will be the best thing for me in that moment in time, because a flood of new doors will have opened for me. Yes, even in a tanking economy. Abundance should come from all area of life, including your health, including your relationships, including your outlook. I will focus on money for the rest of this article. This year, I have “lost” 10’s of thousands of dollars in my investments. My father also doesn’t have a job so I am prepared to give him my paycheque if he needs it, and there’s a consumer crazy holiday just around the corner where society deems I am supposed to spend copious amounts of money on gifts. Am I worried that I’ll run out of money? Not in the slightest. The thought hasn’t even crossed my mind. My mother was yelling at me last night saying how I shouldn’t be so care free about the situation, as she stressed how hard it would be to find another job if I were to be laid off. (Funny how the layoffs were anounced the very next day. hmm Universe, what are you trying to tell me?). In these tough economic times, society would tell you to save, save, save. I, on the other hand, believe in the opposite. Spend, spend, spend. I will continue to donate to charity, continue to buy gifts when I feel like it, continue to go see movies, continue to buy my tea and will continue to pay for my rock climbing, yoga, and soon back to bjj membership fees. Why? Because I believe in ABUNDANCE, not scarcity. (and you should, too, because it would serve you better).
The Secret is no secret. This is the Law of Attraction at work here. When you have the abundance mentality, you can’t help but attract more abundance. Say I were to lose it all, so what?! Fine, no rock climbing or yoga for a while. No tea at Starbucks, no movie nights and popcorn, no cell phone. SO WHAT?! I’ll still believe in abundance, and it will come. It will. Don’t hold onto something because you are scared that if you let go, you’ll lose it. So what if you do, chances are you will be better off for it, but only if you BELIEVE you will. You all have heard of that super rich dude who is miserable because they work ridiculous amounts of hours at a job they hate, which has ruined their marriage and their relationship with their kids. But then there are those Yogi’s in India, that have nothing but the clothes on their bodies and are at incredible peace and happiness. What would you choose between the two? Abundance of peace and happiness with little material goods or abundance of lots of fancy cars with little peace and happiness? What if we could have both? We can, and it AIN’T NO SECRET.
Unconditional Love
“I believe that my life’s gonna see, the love I give return to me.” – John Mayer
It is written. Those are the last words written on the screen before the ending credits of Slumdog Millionaire.
“This is our destiny.” Those are the last words said at the end of the movie.
The story is beautifully woven around a young boy who transcends his painful past growing up in the slums of India to become a contestant and winner on the Indian-version of Who Wants To Be A Millionaire. All in the name of love. Synopsis has been yanked from The City Bee. I had no idea it was a love story. I thought the movie was going to be a comedy, but it was a really gripping love story, set in India and through a game show. I saw this movie over the weekend, I sometimes wonder if the universe is giving me these things exactly at times when I need them the most.
This only happens in movies, right? Love at first sight, star crossed lovers, that sort of thing. I wonder if back in the real world, you really do come across that one special someone that you know is absolutely your soulmate. I wonder that if you two do meet, how would you know? I wonder if that time comes, are you both really willing to jump and take a leap of faith like they do so beautifully in the movies and in the romeo and juliet type stories of the world. It seems so wonderful in the tales, but reality is never the same. I do, however, believe in unconditional love. At its deepest core, it means loving yourself fully and completely. And no, not that type of self love. But the type where you truly appreciate yourself as a human and as a unique individual, and understanding that you are exactly as God created you and that you are one with the universe and everything around you. With this type of love, you find beauty in everything. Unbelievable compassion will come from you. Jesus was like this, Buddha was like this, Mother Teresa was like this, and believe it or not, we can all be like this too.
When your lover breaks your heart, love them anyway. When your family treats you poorly, love them anyway. When your friends neglect you, love them anyway. When you are treated disrespectfully by someone, love them anyway. Unconditionally.
I’ve come to believe that when you truly love yourself, you offer nothing but awesomeness to the world and the universe, and in turn, you will be given nothing but awesomeness back. I believe in miracles.
Not all stories have happy endings. But the journey, those happy moments shared together, that’s where the real happiness lies. I wonder… if it really is already written.
Being Open
In Yoga, they talk about opening your heart centre. In many positions, that is one of the most important things to be conscious of. In terms of Chakras, they talk about opening up your 7 Chakra centres, and in other forms of energy healing, they mention opening your energy channels.
All of that means little and has no relevance if you do not have an open mind. Everything I have written the past few weeks means little if you are not open to new ideas or new ways of thinking. Opening up to people is a great way to make connections that otherwise wouldn’t be possible.
Never say never. I used to think I would be a meat eater for life. Like, I was the king of eating meat. I rolled with some of the finest carnivores in the country, and eating meat was basically how we bonded. The thought of not eating meat never even entered my reality. When I thought of vegetarians, I actually thought of tree hugging hippies who never showered or brushed their teeth. And then I read The China Study, and was fascinated. I had to learn more, so I spent hours googling as much information as I could on the subject. I ended up reading a slew of countless other books, and I was convinced to give it a try. It was an open mind that allowed me to make this transition. It was an open mind that brought me to God, then away from him, then back to him again. And the list goes on.
Having an open mind is key because all of us live with a map in our brain. Beliefs that when go unexamined, basically direct you through life unconciously. That’s your map, and you aren’t even sure how you got the map. It just sort of unfolded itself as time went on and you grew up. The problem with maps is that the map is not the territory. How can you know what something is like if you’ve never been there? The map could be completely wrong and you could get lost in the woods! Over time, you can refine the map by being open to new experiences. It might not ever be fully accurate, as most maps never are, but you can get pretty darn close.
100% responsibility
“We are each responsible for our own life – no other person is or even can be.” – Oprah
Today’s lesson involves accepting fully and completely that you are responsible for your life, and nobody else. This is in direct contrast with the poor me, victim mentality that many people have. If you have ever felt screwed over, if you’ve ever felt victimized, chances are you aren’t taking full responsibility of your life. If you feel you are in a stuck situation and you can’t get out, it’s absolutely your responsbility to get yourself out, because it was you who put you there in the first place.
Of course there are things that are out of our control. If a tornado decides to touch down in the city you live in where tornados aren’t prone, well damn diggity that just sucks. However, its still your responsbility to protect yourself and those close to you if a tornado does touch down.
I’ll tell you why people don’t take responsibility for their life. Its too easy not to. Taking responsibility is hard and there’s a good chance that you will fail. A lot. I remember in second year university I studied so hard for my microelectronics midterm, which was worth 30% of my final mark. I ended up getting a 3/30. How degrading and humiliating I felt, to know I gave it my best and it still wasn’t enough. After a pep talk from a good buddy of mine, I decided from that point on that I was going to take full responsbility for everything I do and everything that happens to me. When negativity happens, know that you were responsible for creating it in someway. Find the lesson. The same goes when positivity happens. good job, you created that! How empowering, knowing that you can shape your destiny! I’d say that’s pretty cool.
“You have to do your own growing no matter how tall your grandfather was.” – Abraham Lincoln
the purpose of this post is purpose.
What is purpose? Hmm. I think to put it simply is, what’s your reason for getting up in the morning? If you don’t have a reason, then you probably don’t have a purpose. You don’t even necessarily have to write down what your purpose is, but if you find yourself excited to get up in the morning then chances are you’re onto something. I was really confused about my purpose this past year. I wrote it down last year and forgot to look it over. Then a few weeks ago I had a read through and liked what i saw. I revised it somewhat, as you probably should do from time to time, especially if you aren’t quite sure or if you start growing. Some things to help you out on this lesson.
What makes you smile? What are you really good at? What excites you? What can you do for hours on end? What are your morals, beliefs and values? What would you regret not doing in your life? What do people most ask you for help with?
Answer all those questions. Then go watch Groundhog Day and learn some lessons. You can screw up over and over until you finally get sick of screwing up. Eckart Tolle likes to say that being in deep suffering is a great way to become conscious. Or, in other words, you’ll get sick of feeling sorry for yourself and start finding purpose when you hit rock bottom.
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” – by Marianne Williamson