Life, Me

Fall Hard in order to Fly…

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I hope you all had a great 2008. 2009 looks like it will be a difficult year, according to economists, but with tough times comes GLORIOUS opportunities. To steal a direct quote from Tim Ferriss’ blog:

To bring in a wonderful 2009, I’d like to quote from an email I received today from a mentor of more than a decade:

While many are wringing their hands, I recall the 1970s when we were suffering from an oil shock causing long lines at gas stations, rationing, and 55 MPH speed limits on Federal highways, a recession, very little venture capital ($50 million per year into VC firms), and, what President Jimmy Carter (wearing a sweater while addressing the Nation on TV because he had turned down the heat in the White House) called a “malaise”. It was during those times that two kids without any real college education, Bill Gates and Steve Jobs, started companies that did pretty well. Opportunities abound in bad times as well as good times. In fact, the opportunities are often greater when the conventional wisdom is that everything is going into the toilet.

Well…we’re nearing the end of another great year, and, despite what we read about the outlook for 2009, we can look forward to a New Year filled with opportunities as well as stimulating challenges.

That’s right, keep an open mind and aim high, and look out for the opportunities to present themselves. But you have to know that you will, at one time or another, fall. You will fail and it will suck and there will be self doubt, but you have to keep going. You have to muster up the courage to try again. Last month I was catching up with a friend I hadn’t seen in about a year. She mentioned to me that she doesn’t know what it feels like to fail, because she has always succeeded at everything she has done. Oh, poor soul, I thought. Wait, just wait, it will come. The older you get going through life without failing, the more it will hurt when it happens and the less you’ll know on how to deal with it. And it will happen. Take your licks now, because that is how you grow. Or you can shrivel away, and avoid life, and become a peon. Its up to you.

Last year I started something in late spring I called Project Social. What an epic failure. I started out as a nightclub promoter and lasted all of three nights. Yes, three! It wasn’t because I wasn’t good at it, it just felt like work. Going up to pretty girls making sure they are having a good time and getting free drinks all night sounds like a lot of fun, but it wasn’t jiving with me. I felt pressure to succeed and the whole point of Project Social was to have more fun. So I stopped. There’s nothing wrong with calling it quits when something isn’t serving you and your life ambition. Plus the promoter I was working for was not somebody I would conduct business with again, but we’ll leave it at that.

The City Bee is live now, and to be honest I have no idea how its going to do. It could be a fiery ball of doom for all I know, but I had to try. Obstacles came up, lots of them, but I barrelled through them with the help of my talented partners. Some things didn’t turn out exactly as planned, but I made workarounds and compromised with my partners. The website itself is not something I am entirely interested in at this point in my life, but I bet it has the potential to bring tremendous value to many people out there. But who knows, maybe it was all a big mistake. And I am ok with that. The journey to create it has been incredible. I built a website from the ground up. It was a conversation with a dear friend over dinner and drinks and turned into something real in a matter of 3 months. How cool is that? There are still things I’m learning about what I need to do. I had to take a few steps back in order to make a few steps forward. My partners don’t really have any idea the type of work I had to put into it to make it the way it is, and I’m ok with that. I’m not doing it for glory, I’m doing it to learn. And learn I have. From that knowledge, I’ve got something special coming down the pipe. Super excited but for now I have to remain hush on it. Time is my biggest enemy here. Juggling priorities is my most difficult issue at the moment. Right now I have a big fat issue I have been neglecting for far too long; the GMAT. Its now or never so I am going full deluxe overdrive mode for the next little while. Who knows, maybe it will be a miserable failure. That’s cool, bring it on.

“It was great just watching you, every day was like a privilige. Then the time come for you to be your own man and take on the world, and you did. But somewhere along the line, you changed. You stopped being you. You let people stick a finger in your face and tell you you’re no good. And when things got hard, you started looking for something to blame, like a big shadow. Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place and I don’t care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard ya hit. It’s about how hard you can get it and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done! Now if you know what you’re worth then go out and get what you’re worth. But ya gotta be willing to take the hits, and not pointing fingers saying you ain’t where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody! Cowards do that and that ain’t you! You’re better than that!” – Rocky Balboa

Life

Aim High

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“Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss it you will land among the stars.” – Les Brown

The end of the year is near. Many of you have New Years resolutions that you like to do this time of year. “2009 is the year I [insert goal here]” and so on. While I’m sure you’d like to believe that next year is the year, it probably won’t be if you give up. Us humans are terrible at estimating what we can accomplish. We tend to overestimate what we can do in the short term and underestimate what we can do in the long term. When we realize we can’t accomplish what we wanted in the short term (overestimation) we give up and it ruins our chances at the long term. Many people spend time in Dip, and never follow through. Seth Godin talks about this a lot. Malcolm Gladwell has a new book about this called Outliers: The Story of Success that I am very interested in reading, where he talks about how life circumstance, a little bit of luck, and straight up hard work is what makes you successful. Gladwell writes some really throught provoking stuff, so I’m interested to see what he brings with his latest.

For those of you who do the resolution thing, aim huge. Go BIG or go home. If weight loss is your thing, don’t try and lose a few pounds, try to turn into a calvin klein underwear model. When you aim big, you are going for your FULL POTENTIAL. None of this pussyfooting bs. Go for it, all the way or don’t bother trying cause you will quit when you don’t see immediate results in the short term. When I started rockclimbing last year, I saw these guys climbing walls that seemed impossible. I was so impressed with it. My climbing partner and I both agreed that that’s how we were going to be, if not better, despite not having the body type for it (the best climbers are usually tall and lanky). Since then, we haven’t quite gotten there but we have gotten pretty darn good. Balls out, that’s how we go. Am I dissapointed that I haven’t gotten as good as I aimed for? Heck no, the process has been FUN, and I’m still lightyears better then I was when I first started. All it took was a belief that I could reach for something that seemed unattainable, and then start moving. Be the absolute best you can be, because settling for anything less is disrepectful to yourself. Stop making up excuses. Don’t wait till Jan 1, start now.

“God doesn’t require us to succeed; he only requires that you try.” – Mother Teresa

Friends and Family, Life, Me

Holiday Stress.

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Well I hope you all had an enjoyable Christmas and took advantage of the Boxing Day sales.  I know I most certainly did.  I got a really snazzy computer that I can’t wait to play with.  I also got a ton of money, but I gave it to my mom.  She told me that I should keep it, and I said I would but I would be donating it so she decided to keep it instead.  She’s going to use the money to buy clothes and toys for some of the kids of my Mom’s employees.  Aaawwww, how nice.  *tear*

Christmas can be very stressful.  I have a confession to make, I wasn’t looking forward to something.  Every year, our entire family meets up at a family owned restaurant and we have a turkey lunch and there are some gift exchanges.  I went last year, but hadn’t gone in the previous 5 years prior and wasn’t planning on going this year.  I don’t like going because I really really reallyyyyy don’t vibe with a lot of the family members there.  But my mom always insists that I go, and so this year I obliged again dreading it on the inside.  I’m sure some of you may know the feeling I’m talking about. 

When I talk about compassion, I personally really struggle with it with this side of the family.  I guess you could call it one of my big sticking points.  For many years I tried and tried for them to like me, but for one reason or other just couldn’t make any ground.  I just haven’t cut through their arrogance and pompous attitudes and their hostility.  Ever since I was a kid, it has been like that.  This year was no different.  As soon as I walked into the place, my uncle says to his daughter (who is currently dating a guy in my industry), “Hey, here’s Martin!  The engineer, he’s in IT!”.  And she quickly snapped back, “SO?! Am I supposed to be his friend now?!” and gave me this icy cold stare. OUCH!!  The worst part is I didn’t even SAY anything.  I got hacked for just showing up.  I just smiled and said Merry Christmas and just let it roll off my back and excused myself from the room.  But I know in previous years if she busted that out on me I probably would have threw some stuffing at her (not really, but it would have really ate me up inside).  I REALLY dug deep and was pulling up buckets full of compassion from my ocean.  “It had nothing to do with me, she just resents her dad for belittling her in front of people all the time, probably.” is what I kept telling myself (I told my mom later about this story and she confirmed it).

Other things happened at this gathering that I could talk about, but I’m sure you can relate to not getting along with at least one member of your family and then having to spend time with them during Christmas.  Its not easy, even when you consciously try.  Even when you can be the more mature one, holding onto that energy afterwards can really tear you up inside.  Sometimes family gatherings can get really stressful.  Combine that with the pressure of buying gifts and it really is a recipe for disaster.  I tend not to sweat too much about it, this year I received a gift I didn’t give a gift back to in return but I hope they bought the gift for me out of the goodness of their heart, and wasn’t EXPECTING anything back.  I very rarely reciprocate a gift (just ask any of my close friends), and I feel no guilt not reciprocating either.  I shouldn’t have to, and neither should you.  I buy gifts when I want to buy them, not because I have to.  Just like I don’t feel any guilt for not showing up to any family gatherings.  Its not natural, to force family to get together even when some members don’t want to (that would be me in this case). 

All of this holiday season should come from LOVE, and yet it very rarely does.  It has become a CHORE, it has become ARTIFICIAL, it has become CONSUMERIST.  Actually, its been like that since I was born, just like many of you reading this blog.  We were BORN into this brainwashed season.  Just one of the many.  I hope some of you are starting to see how much of this really does influence your thoughts, behaviours and emotions.  Christmas can be incredibly rewarding, or it can be absolutely dreadful, both for the very same reasons.  Which would you rather choose?  I loved this Christmas, it was pure awesomeness deluxe.

Life

It’s a Wonderful Life

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I was talking to my manager about good Christmas movies yesterday, and he said he watches “It’s a Wonderful Life” every year and it never fails to make him cry.  So, I said to him that I would keep my eyes out for it and give it a whirl.  Sure enough, I caught it on TV (thank you universe) and sure enough, it made me cry.  Its old school acting at its finest; really cheesy and overacted like all the great ones, but with an open mind and an appreciation for art it really is a classic.  I think I’ll pick it up and watch it every year as well, just as a great reminder about how wonderful life really is.

A short synopsis of the movie is that its about a good man who tries his best to do good deeds for himself and for the people of the town he lives in.  However, its not so easy, especially in the tough economic times they are facing (Its actually eerily similar to present times).  But nonetheless, he tries and tries and turns down money, power, and greed for the greater good.  Again, its HARD, as it is in real life.  He struggles and sometimes gets really sad, frustrated, and depressed as he continues to be down on his luck.  It takes an angel to show him the way and really appreciate what he has; His loving family and supportive friends.  I would definitely recommend you watch it.

I wonder if you realize how wonderful your life is.  Do you have a loving family and supportive friends?  I know I do.  Sometimes it may not seem like it, sometimes life can get you really down, but don’t forget about what you do have and focus on that.  Don’t forget the things that make your heart beat.  Do you have an angel watching over you?  I most definitely do.

Merry Christmas y’all.  Don’t be bitter, don’t be sad, let all of the negative gunk go, and I mean ALL of it (complete and utter honesty with yourself is a must).  It’s a Wonderful Life.  Enjoy it!
Its a Wonderful Life

Life

A Fight Club Moment…

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“You’re not your job. You’re not how much money you have in the bank. You’re not the car you drive. You’re not the contents of your wallet. You’re not your f*#$ing khakis. You’re the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world.” – Tyler Durden, Fight Club

Today, we talk about identity. Something everybody struggles with. As much as I’d like to say men struggle with it more, I’m inclined to believe that women have just as much trouble with it, but in a slightly different way. There’s a lot of pressure out there, tons even, on us from all of these bullshit constructs. A movie like Fight Club or The Matrix comes out, and its supposed to shake stuff up within us dudes. I really don’t know how somebody could watch a movie like that, or read the book, and not have any inclination or realization that something is amiss with the way they are living their lives. And yet, they do nothing about it. They don’t even try. Their identity was FORCED upon them by societal constructs.

Your parents do this, so you must do that. You are of this race and this gender and of this income level, so you cannot be any more than this, and according to our computers…. You are going to be this for the rest of your life. HORSE SHIT. As you go through your teens, you struggle to find yourself. Some people go goth, others like myself turn to video games. But something happens as we age, we never really grow out of that identity, or we jump from identity to identity, not knowing where we fit. As men, we never had a rite of passage, like our ancestors before us. So we age, but we never actually grow up. As women, they’ve never had so much power, and thus are as lost as we are. And we give up on life, we have our identity that people have bestowed on us and we stick through it, just hoping to fit in.

There are glimpses of freedom every now and again. That adrenal rush you got that one time you went skydiving, wearing that santa costume and having women lynch you as they try to sit on your lap (good times, gentlemen), finding that special someone who is supposed to complete you. But still, there is a strong lack of identity among us. That leads to false social interactions, frustrated families, and really pissed off people.

We are confused, and we consume more, hoping that more will satisfy our hunger. But it never does, and yet there’s always something new to grab your money, something you believe will satisfy that hunger. It never does. There really is only ONE solution to all of this madness, and it was figured out thousands of years ago by a really smart Greek dude. “Know thyself.” – Plato

Fight Club (Widescreen)

Life, Me

every moment is precious

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Last night I went to the most awesome hockey game of all eternity. It went to a suspenseful sudden death shootout of fiery doom, and the team I was cheering for won! We had rink side tickets, directly across from the visiting teams players bench, right along the blue line in the front row. It was the first time I sat in platinum level seating. At the stadium, I gave my ticket to one of the ushers in our section and asked him where I was supposed to sit. He kind of laughed and let us know we were in the wrong area, as if to imply we were way too awesome for the commoner seating area. We were directed to go to some underground magical pathway of glory. I felt like Harry Potter the first time he arrived at Hogwarts School of Wizardry. Ahhh, the beauty of abundance, and I didn’t even need Dumbledore to make it happen. This place was magical, rooms filled with huge LCDs, loaded with alcohol and a large assortment of food. Beautifully renovated with cherry hardwood and private bathrooms and servants. Sushi chefs making fresh sushi for your gluttonous consumption. Ridiculousness. But precious, so precious.

Start of the second period, me and my better half take our seats with beers in hand. He puts his on the ledge and calls his wife. Keep in mind we’re in the first row, and the action has begun. In the platinum level, we are surrounded by suits; exec types, all carbon copies of each other carrying blackberries. The two to our left are diehard hockey fans. They also put their beers on the ledge. My buddy is still talking to his wife as she watches the game at home, trying to see if she can see him on TV. He’s standing up banging against the glass, hoping she sees him as he describes where he is sitting and what is happening on the ice. Dude is like a kid in a candy store. Just as this is happening, on the ice two players head our way and smash each other against the boards right in front of us. I’m sure you know where this is going. All I remember is this slow motion video playing through my eyes. It was like the end of A Perfect Storm. Except it wasn’t ocean water, it was beer. The next thing I remember is seeing the glass covered in beer, and the two diehards and my buddy drenched in even more beer. Our entire section was howling with laughter, including myself. “F%$! That was $50 worth of beer!” one of the diehards shouts. “That’s what the cup holders are for, dumbasses!” someone yells from the peanut gallery. More howling laughter. I am laughing so hard my stomach is hurting. Awesome. Awesomeness deluxe.

Last Friday, I had box suites across the border at a different game. Similar glory times. Free food of deliciousness proportions, unlimited booze. Just enjoying the game, cheering for the visiting team. Sitting beside us, a NHL hall of famer and one of the cities heroes. He was not impressed. Hilarity. Precious, right down to when we got pulled over for a “random” inspection and my buddy had a weapon in his truck. Never a dull moment, those are the moments I live for.

The beauty is in the moment. Walking to work and back is one of my favourite times of day. Surrounded by trees, crunching through the freshly layered snow as the sky unloads more slowflakes, each dancing to the rhythm of its music. I can see my breath in the brisk, chilly wind. Precious. The joy rises when you live in the only place your welcome to live – in the present moment. Every heartache, every death of a loved one, every child’s first words, cherish it. Every moment is precious.

I highly recommend Eckhart Tolle’s book The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment