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I’m a collector by nature. I’d go to Wrestlemania, and keep my ticket and buy a tshirt and never look at them again. I’d mod my playstation, and burn every game on that console just for completion sake, never actually playing the game and only turning it on to see if it worked. I’d accumulate and accumulate all this stuff, without ever actually using any of it. Know what I’m saying? I’m sure you do, because I’m sure you probably do that as well. My parents are collectors and so is my brother, so maybe its hereditary. But I believe that the things you own end up owning you (thank you, Fight Club). So how do you protect that from happening? One way is to reduce the things you own! Sell them, donate them, recycle them or throw them away! Its all about decluttering and simplifying.
Trimming the fat isn’t just about cleaning out your possessions. Its about cleaning out your relationships as well. The ones that don’t serve you anymore, the ones that hurt you, the ones that breed negativity. I’m sure you have some in your life. I know I do. I used to be really close with this one girl. She was one of my best friends. We used to hang out virtually every week and she would always ask for my help or advice. Her best friend said to me that she had changed a lot, and largely because of me. I even hooked her up with her boyfriend. I told her to try out online dating and wrote her profile for her. Soon after she met her current boyfriend who loved the profile. She told her boyfriend of me and he didn’t approve. Slowly but surely we stopped hanging out. I figured, as long as she’s happy. Last week I saw her for the first time since October, during our meeting her boyfriend called and scolded her for hanging out with me, in which case she obliged. This isn’t acceptable to me. I would love to tell myself how its her loss yadda yadda, as that would serve my ego. But truth is, its my loss too. I miss our time together. It really stinks being put on the backburner, but its even worse when its because of weak reasons like a controlling, insecure boyfriend being more important than friendship. Why she accepts those terms with him, I do not know and it is none of my business. Likely, we’ll never be as close ever again (although an apology and a change of circumstances may help). Be completely honest here, though. For me, there is absolutely zero anger involved. I wish her all the best and hope for her continued happiness, but its not something I wish to be involved with under these terms. However, if I secretly harboured a crush for her and lusted for her, and was hurt and angry that she would choose him over me, then that is 100% my problem and probably requires no trimming, but rather a re-evaluation of my own issues. Some things you just have to trim as guided by your morals and boundaries. Remember, by your morals and boundaries. When your relationships have crossed those boundaries, decide if that is or isn’t acceptable. If its not, trim it. Save yourself the mental anguish of holding onto that mess.
Trimming the fat can be a very difficult thing to do. Whether its a possession or relationship, it can be hard because there is some degree of attachment to it. But you’ll feel a huge weight lifted off your shoulders. Possessions aren’t supposed to be stressful. If you have a car that keeps on failing you, decide if its really worth the headaches in maintaining it. Or a computer that keeps crashing, or that super duper all in one magic kitchen thingamabob that you thought you needed but never used, if you aren’t using it maybe you should just get rid of it. If you’ve never tried to trim the fat, it can be hard. You’ll find a lot of times you’ll convince yourself you need this or that thing “just in case” even though you haven’t used it in years. Trust me, if you haven’t worn that sweater in over a year, chances are high you won’t be wearing it at all. Just donate it, already. When it comes to trimming the fat, less is definitely more.
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I write about awesomeness because I believe everybody is capable of it simply by challenging the 3C's: conventional wisdom, conformity and common sense.
